Threats From The WEST | BRIGHTON Face Teams From LIMERICK And BRISTOL | Who’s BEST?

The mighty Brighton Rockers are back in action in Haywards Heath this Saturday (21st Sept) against teams from the West of both Ireland and England. The A-team take on Limerick Roller Derby then the B-team face their Bristol Roller Derby equivalents. True fact: if you draw a straight line on a map from the centre of Limerick to the centre of Brighton it passes right through the centre of Bristol. But we digress… Doors are at 2pm with the A-team game kicking off half an hour later, followed by the Bs just after 4.30pm. It’s Slap Dash’s birthday and Hippy Hippy Skate’s last game before transferring to the London Rockin’ Rollers, so expect a super special day. Tickets are £8 online from the link at the bottom of this piece or £9.50 on the door. Students and Compass Card holders pay £7 and under 12s go free.

THE VENUE
If you’ve never been to the Dolphin before it’s crazy easy to get to. Car users can point their Sat Nav at RH16 1LY. Train folks will find the leisure centre seven minutes walk from Haywards Heath station (turn left and follow the signs) and this weekend is free from engineering works yay! There’s a decent enough pub, the Burrell Arms, opposite the station and a large Sainsbury’s with ATMs halfway to the venue. There should be a bottle bar, cakes, merch, a raffle and more in the sports hall, with a cafe and vending machines in the foyer. The after party will be back in Brighton at the games packed World’s End.

PREDICTIONS [Skip this paragraph if you don’t want to know]
Flattrackstats’ own (non official) WFTDA rankings place A-team competitors Brighton 295th and Limerick 373rd. The hosts are given 92% chance of victory with a differential of 56:29. This means the Rockers will need to get almost double Limerick’s points total to improve their ranking, whilst anything substantially less will benefit the visitors. The B-team match is predicted to be closer with the Rockerbillies 261st in Europe and Bristol Bees 274th. Brighton B are given 62% chance of victory and are expected to score 15 points for every 13 from Bristol. This suggests a fairly narrow (20 points or so) overall victory margin, which is super close in derby. Bear in mind that the prediction computer gets it wrong as often as it gets it right. The only real way to know how the games are gonna play out it is to be there watching them.

“The A-team won 173-157 in Limerick in 2017. It will be interesting to see how things have changed for both teams over the past two years. I’m expecting a challenge, but I’ve also heard they’re a great league to play against, so I can’t wait. In the B-team game we’re expecting to face a strong Bristol side. From our perspective, three victories at Eastbourne Extreme has boosted everyone’s confidence and the Rockerbillies are hungry for more success.”
SLAP DASH, BRIGHTON ROCKERS

“The 2017 match was a challenging game at the time and a very close one at that. Brighton won by 16 points, so we’re definitely not going to underestimate the Rockers. All of the Limerick skaters are forces to be reckoned with, every player bringing their unique strengths and skills to the game, so we’re ready and prepared for this rematch.”
LIMERICK ROLLER DERBY

“Our Beehive is constantly changing with some Bees being promoted to the A-team and new bees coming from drop in, but as a good beehive we work as a team and always aim to look after each other and have fun. The only thing we can predict is a tough game from the Rockerbillies. We’ll be digging deep, getting low and most importantly having fun on track.”
BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY

[Photo by John Hesse]

LINKS
TICKETS: https://www.brightonrockers.com/shop-cttr
FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/403414430300795/
ROCKERS: https://www.brightonrockers.com/
LIMERICK: https://www.facebook.com/LimerickRollerDerby/
BRISTOL: http://www.bristolrollerderby.com/

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Brighton Rockers AllStars v Croydon Riot Squad Preview (inc recap of both teams’ last games)

The mighty Brighton Rockers AllStars take on their ‘friendly rivals’ Croydon Riot Squad at the Dolphin in Haywards Heath this Sunday 22nd May. A home game for Brighton on a Sunday is something of a rarity (we can only think of one previous occasion) so be sure to take advantage of this opportunity for a post-roast festival of sport. ‘Festival’ being the operative word, since the game, despite its geographical remove, is part of Brighton Fringe Festival.
    Doors open at 4pm (first whistle is at 4.30) and tickets are available online for £10 adults, £8 concessions and free for under 12s. You can also get four adult tickets for the price of three. Tickets are available from both the Brighton Rockers and Fringe Festival websites, but we recommend the former as there’s a small fee added at the latter. We have a full preview of this epic game lower down, but first off we’ll recap two other derby events that have taken place at the Dolphin in the past couple of weeks. Given that these two events were hosted by Brighton and Croydon respectively, they provide useful clues for what to expect on Sunday…

SATURDAY 30TH APRIL: BRIGHTON V NEWCASTLE B REPORT
Coming in off the back of a great display – albeit a small loss – away to London’s Batter C Power in March, the Rockers AllStars round off April by facing the Whippin’ Hinnies B-team of Newcastle Roller Girls. Newcastle’s A-team is the top ranked English team in UKRDA and has already won this year’s British Champs with two months left to go, so it’s no surprise that their second team are favourites here. Flattrackstats expect the Hinnies to win but by the tiniest of margins (six or seven points). Seven jams in and the margin is invisible. It’s a tied game at 20-20, Joanna Bruisin’ and Blackjack Belle doing much of the damage for the Geordies, with Gin Atomic and Shambolic scoring well for Brighton. Hairy Fairy and Obliviator doing good work to peg back Mills & Boom now as Skate Bush edges Brighton ahead.
    Our companion is disappointed that Newcastle don’t play in black and white stripes – “make the refs play in green or something” – as fantastic jams from Sham and Skate give the Rockers an unexpected 48-21 lead. Sham is back in the star a few jams later, ducking and diving through the Hinnies pack to chalk up 25 points. After an extended break for travelling a year or so ago, the nimble ninja is back to her best as she helps Brighton to a chunky 107-42 interval lead. The second half sees the Rockers continue to dominate. Khal Jojo and Pretty Skate Machine are amongst the standout blockers for Newcastle, with Hairy, Gin, Emma The Condemner and others proving super solid for the home side.
    With the scores at 134-67 there is an extended stoppage for treatment to tough Brighton blocker Chaka Carnage. She will play no further part in the game and her injury takes some wind out of the Rockers’ sails. The Hinnies take advantage of Brighton’s slight loss of momentum to start clawing back at the lead; the home side have started picking up noticeably more blocker penalties now. Another Rockers injury sees ever impressive starhead Skate Bush bowing out of the match. With further Brighton skaters such as Sham picking up knocks, the home side are glad to make it to the final whistle with a decent victory margin still intact. This 170-143 win is the Rockers’ first open door success since beating Leeds side Hot Wheel, also by 27 points, in May of last year. Without the injuries we would have likely been looking at closer to a three figure differential here. Rest assured that this win not only builds upon the performance against Batter C, but (especially coming after seven straight losses) also marks a turning point for the rapidly improving AllStars.
    Today’s proceedings began with the B-team facing the Hoodlum Gang, a mixed league side organised by the Hoodlum Fang fashion label. That match ended in a 168-223 defeat for the Rockerbillies and saw a great performance from both sides. For Hoodlum the likes of Chunder Woman, Grace Bopper, Ore Raura and the appropriately named Hench were amongst the standouts. In the Rockerbillies ranks, plaudits go to Lab Wrath, Bionic Betty (here playing her final game for Brighton), fast jamming Shakesbeer and many others. No doubt there’s a whole slew of future A-team regulars in the ‘billies ranks. Indeed, B-team MVP Hippy Hippy Skate put in a great stint for the As today too. The day ends with Gin Atomic’s 30th birthday celebrations, a surprise on track marriage proposal for Cake Or Death (many congrats to her and Phil), and a suitably messy after party back in Brighton.

SATURDAY 14TH MAY: CROYDON V LRR REPORT
With barely time to catch our breath, the sound of clacking derby skate wheels returns to the Dolphin two weeks later. Last year three teams in the British Championships (Brighton, Eastbourne and Croydon) hosted games here. With the first two having withdrawn from the 2016 tournament, today’s Croydon hosted double header is most likely the only Champs action that Haywards Heath will see this year. First up is Bristol Roller Derby v Portsmouth Roller Wenches. Based on last year’s Tier 2 South results we’re expecting Bristol to dominate this one. Flattrackstats agrees, but it’s the Wenches who are fastest out of the gates, taking a 20-3 lead over the first few jams. Nina Nunchucks and Psyclone DestroyHer particularly effective in the Pompey star, but a power jam sees Bristol clawing their way back. Hard N Sharpe and Delta Strike are chalking up points for BRD, with RIP McMurphy hitting back for the Wenches. Lead change! 46-45 to Bristol.
    Great blocking from the likes of Valkyrie Pain and Rosie Rocketpants for PRW; likewise from Black Thorn, President Garfield and others for Brizzle. Portsmouth’s blockers in particular are picking up a lot of penalties here. In fact, Valkyrie picks up her seventh with a quarter of the first half still to go, leaving the game. Successive power jams from Psyclone and Nunchucks sees the Wenches snatch a half time lead of 123-117. Pompey extending their lead at the start of the second, but Bristol peg them back to 169-160. Delta Strike and The Blizzard jamming in points for BRD. McMurphy and Elke Dickson sturdy in the Wenches defence. Jammer switcharoos aplenty and Rosie becomes PRW’s second foul out. That means more jams (and more penalties) for those left, and the domino effect sees two more Wenches sent to the stands, with at least one Bristolian joining them. What’s left of the Pompey squad holds firm for an unexpected 306-276 win.
    It’s hosts Croydon Riot Squad v London Rockin’ Rollers next, and the latter go into this one as firm favourites. We think this game can’t possibly be as exciting as the last one, but it turns out we’re very wrong. There are three lead changes in the opening few minutes, but that’s not unusual as teams feel each other out before one side starts to impose themselves. It seems that side could be LRR as a well used power jam sees them take a 21-11 advantage. This looks like being a fairly low scoring contest with two very solid defensive units at play. Total Bevlam, Smashasaurus Bex and Polly Filla amongst the standout defenders for Croydon here; Miss Justice, Von Bitch, Rammit and others proving equi-tough in the London packs. LRR look like they might run away with things with the scores at 50-13, but the Flying Kiwi and Dyduch are amongst those putting in great turns in the star for Riot Squad. Suddenly London’s lead is a single point (54-53). It’s not often that there’s only one point between the sides during a roller derby game, but this margin will be repeated several more times before the game is done. Starting with a lead change that puts Croydon 62-61 ahead.
    The Croydonians stretch this to a seven point gap (75-69) at the interval, but this game has plenty of drama to come. Queen Mob, Rammit and Jack Attack putting in some ferocious turns in the London star, with Jacks chalking up another lead change and single point margin. LRR leading 90-89 and starting to pull away now, but Croydon are fighting hard and keeping in touch. Riot Squad icon Apocalex, here playing her last game for the side, amongst those battling in the purple packs. Meanwhile, Agent Cooper is being let off the leash more in the Cronx star, swooping and sweeping at speed through the walls of red. CRD keeping within ten or fifteen points of the Rockin’ Rollers here. Ten to fifteen points being that sweet spot in derby differentials – the gap it can just take a 30 second power jam to close. Riot Squad battle hard but LRR keep their noses in front, taking the game by a much closer than predicted margin: 151-137.

SUNDAY 22ND MAY: BRIGHTON V CROYDON PREVIEW
So what have we learned from those very recent Brighton and Croydon games? Firstly, both sides fared better than the rankings computer had predicted, suggesting that both leagues are currently on an upwards trajectory. Though there have been a few closed door games between Brighton and Croydon, the A-teams have only met once before in public. That was in July 2014 (at, where else, the Dolphin) and the Rockers took the win that time 163-151. Super close! So what’s expected this time?
    ***SPOILER ALERT: If you don’t like knowing Flattrackstats predictions ahead of a game then skip past this paragraph*** There are two different rankings systems on the FTS website. The UK Roller Derby Association one is, as you’d expect, based on the results of UKRDA sanctioned games only. Brighton currently place 19th in the table on 602.3 points, with Croydon just behind in 20th (599.5). FTS gives the Rockers 58% chance of taking the win here, with an expected differential of 51:46 equating to something like a 153-138 Brighton win. Switch to the Europe-wide rankings system, however, and Cronx place higher. They’re 45th on 619.2 points, with the Rockers 69th on 584.8. Run those stats through the predictometer and there’s 69% chance of a CRD win. Predicted differential of 17:13 suggests something like a 170-130 Riot Squad victory in this case. In other words, this one really could go either way!
    The venue is as ever the Dolphin in Haywards Heath, which is seven minutes walk from the train station (turn left and follow the signs stuck to lamp posts). Point your Sat Nav at RH16 1LY if driving. The pub opposite the station, the Burrell Arms, is OK for a pre-game pint, if a little football geezer-y. There’s a very large Sainsbury’s (with ATMs outside) halfway between the station and leisure centre. Be warned that this closes at 4pm on Sunday, so get any provisions prior to doors opening at the roller derby. The last two events have seen the Dolphin move their stash of booze from the lobby cafe to a table in the sports hall itself. This is awesomely convenient, but we suspect is largely aimed at not having a queue of green-haired derby types scaring off parents arriving to drop off kids at the pool. Expect to pay between three and four quid for a bottle of beer/cider/wine, and please leave the London Pride for us (there’s never enough). The after party is at Idelwild, a bistro bar on Haywards Heath Broadway, about twelve minutes walk from the Dolphin.
    Snap up your tickets for this epic rematch in advance from the link below. There will also be tickets available on the door. Don’t forget to pick up your free copy of our unofficial Brighton Rockers fanzine Turn Left on your way in. Sunday’s issue is jam-packed with stuff including… Best mates Gin Atomic and Agent Cooper (playing on opposite sides for the first time in an open door sanctioned game) have a huge banter-off ahead of the contest. Mass Janeycide and Noise Tank trade tips on bench coaching the Rockers. Emma the Condemner selects the programme for a Brighton Rockers themed arts festival. We also hear from Croydon captain Dyduch and others, plus the latest news from all six Sussex roller derby teams and more. See you there!

[Photos by John Hesse, except CRD v LRR by Neil Biggs]

LINKS
BUY TICKETS: http://www.brightonrockers.com/#!shop/cttr
FB EVENT PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/events/767370616727093/
BRIGHTON: http://www.brightonrockers.com/
CROYDON: http://croydonrollerderby.co.uk/

Turn Left Issue 12 Now Online

Sunday saw the mighty Brighton Rockers hosted the final day of British Championship Tier 2 South action. Playoff and relegation places were decided as the Rockers took on the London Rockin’ Rollers, Royal Windsor Rollergirls did battle with Bristol Roller Derby, and Portsmouth Roller Wenches faced the Seaside Sirens. We’ll have a full report on the day’s events in the next week or so. Did you miss out on a copy of the fanzine we gave out on at the game? It features interviews with all six competing teams, loads of stats (including top jammer and blocker tables for all the sides), a report on the Brighton B-team’s Eastbourne Extreme debut and more. Click on the image above to read the online version. All the physical copies were snapped up on the day, so unfortunately there are none in the Evening Star this time. Sorry!

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British Champs UKRDA National South Final Day Preview (inc Day 6 Report)

This Sunday (9th August) sees the British Champs Tier 2 South season reach its crescendo at the Dolphin in Haywards Heath. In most divisions there’s often nothing to play for on the final day. Here in T2 South there’s *everything* to play for. Three teams (Royal Windsor, Bristol and London Rockin’ Rollers) are vying for two playoff places, whilst another three (Brighton Rockers, Portsmouth and Seaside Sirens) are fighting to stay in the division – two of the latter trio will be relegated to Tier 3. We have a full preview of Sunday’s action, with predictions plus quotes from all six teams taking part, further down this piece. We begin though with a look at how things went in the previous T2 South Game Day, also in Haywards Heath, last month…

People have said we often concentrate more on a venue’s beer selection in these reports than on the actual roller derby. Whilst we don’t think that’s the case, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THE DOLPHIN CAFE TODAY? Usually it has a selection of bottled ales and lagers, and although these will run out during the day, there’s always at the very least a few ciders or Bacardi Breezers left at the end. Not today. The first game hasn’t even started as we bound up to the bar. “What fine ales do you have, o Yeoman of the Caff?” we ask. Blank look. “What beers are you selling?” A shake of the head. “Lager? Cider?” More head shakes. “What alcohol do you have?” Our server gestures to four bottles sat atop the fridges. Two miniatures of white wine, one of red wine and one Smirnoff Ice. Our faces drop at the realisation this is all they will be selling today. Then drop even further when we realise these aren’t a display of the drinks they stock, these *are* the drinks they stock. Just these four warm (no-one thought to put them in the fridge) bottles. That’s it. We buy the whites and Smirnoff Ice, leaving just one 187ml bottle of red wine for everybody else in the hall to share.

MEMO TO THE BRIGHTON ROCKERS: PLEASE SUGGEST TO THE DOLPHIN THAT THEY GET SOME BEERS AND THAT IN FOR SUNDAY. NOT ONLY IS IT GOING TO BE A VERY LONG DAY OF DERBY WATCHING, BUT THE WHOLE ‘SUNDAY’ THING MEANS THE NEARBY SAINSBURY’S SHUTS AT 4PM. AU SECOURS! THANKS XXX

First up on track is the all conquering Royal Windsor versus the London Rockin’ Rollers. LRR have big playoff aspirations this season, but such is RWRG’s dominance of the division that the main aim in this game is surely to keep the differential down. LRR are just 17 points worse off than second place Bristol differential wise, but every point that Windsor beat them by here will add to that gap. The first few jams are low scoring as the two sides test out their opponent’s defences. With things standing at 15 points apiece seven minutes in, the division’s star jammer Cle-Blam-O sets to work, effortlessly driving in 20 points with Rammit picking up none in return. It’s 35-15 to Windsor, but good work from Pand’Assassin sees LRR close back to 34-42. The likes of Mimika Mayhem and DisorderLee putting in tough blocks for the Londoners, but Windsor’s jammers – particular Cle-Blam-o and Culverhouse – are super wily, and the Royals go into the break 123-83 up. That’s damn near spot on the predicted 3:2 differential.

The second half sees LRR rally. Some great apex jump sprinkled jammer outings from Rammit, taking advantage of a bigger than usual blocker penalty accruement from RWRG, and the ladies in red have closed the gap to 137-171. Star pass problems for Miss N Link put Windsor back in the ascendancy, but LRR are keeping the gap down to the 40 points they were behind at the break. They are also gaining lead jammer status way more often than anyone else has managed against Windsor in Champs, just 14-16 behind in leads midway through the second half. Culverhouse powering through again and again now, taking advantage of her low centre of gravity to dip straight through the middle of the London pack for a series of natural fives. “Let’s go London, let’s go…” chants from the rowdy travelling support, who are small in number as indeed is the crowd in general. (London Rollergirls are hosting an event in South London that has leeched a fair chunk of today’s potential audience.) Windsor holding the LRR jammers back through tough blocking from Laptalis, Hillsdon, Riley Cyrus and others. We can’t help noticing that half the Windsor squad are single named, with the rest rarely more than eleven characters. RWRG must have the lowest ‘letters on the back of shirts’ expenditure in UK derby. Von Bitch throwing hits at Cle-Blam-O left right and centre, but the Windsor jammer is through. Rollin Stone R calling a team timeout with the clock on fifteen seconds to force a final jam, and the 3:2 prediction turns out remarkably close with a final score of 296-197 (we make that a differential of 3:1.99662).

The day’s second game, featuring the hosting Brighton Rockers up against Portsmouth Roller Wenches, is a biggie. Should Brighton win they will guarantee their own survival whilst sending Portsmouth and the Seaside Sirens to Tier 3. Victory for the Wenches will make PRW favourites for survival due to having the easier final game (v Sirens). Rockers picking up a lot of defensive penalties in the early stages, with Mass Janeycide calling an early team timeout in response. Wenches sending out really tough packs here, with the likes of RIP McMurphy, Dropkick Molly and Halcyon Daze proving a challenge to pass. The Duchess of Crutches is a particular ‘last line of defence’ annoyance to the Sussex jammers, with Brighton forced into quite a few star passes over the course of the game. The Rockers are battling hard – Hairy Fairy and Chaka Carnage sturdy in the packs as Swann trades hits with McMurphy on a regular basis – but the Wenches defence is taking it out of the Brightonians. Sussex starheads looking knackered as PRW call a team timeout with a 74-26 lead. Skate Bush toughing it out well against Duchess as the impressive recent A-team addition claws some back for the Rockers. Final jam of the period is a masterclass of staying in bounds from Dr Whooligan, who shakes off tough hits to score eighteen without reply. It’s 91-56 to Portsmouth at the break.

As a line forms at the cafe – do they not know we drank all the booze? – we do a bit of maths. There’s two ways this could go. Brighton could produce one of their famed second half revivals to send Portsmouth down. Or the Wenches could hold on for the win. The latter would put these two sides level on points, with only differential separating them. At the interval the Rockers are 89 points better off on -113 compared to PRW’s -202. Every point more or less than the current 35 scoreline gap that Portsmouth win by here will add or subtract two from that 89. Each point is worth two since it’s +1 to one side and -1 to the other. Yikes! Things start out better defensively for Brighton as play resumes, with Hairy Fairy sending Nina Nunchucks to ground as the Rockers packs fight to keep Duchess out of their own jammers’ way. Gin Atomic takes advantage of a penalty call on RIP McMurphy to win the fourth jam 23-4. Rockers have closed it to 97-112. McMurphy off now with what looks like a recurrence of the nose injury she picked up in Pompey’s previous Champs game. Wenches 120-100 up with twenty minutes to go. Psyclone DestroyHer putting up some good points for PRW now, before Molly takes advantage of a power jam start to open up a bigger gap for the visitors. Portsmouth timeout as they lead 189-135. “Gin, Gin, Gin, Gin” chants from the Rockers bench – hopefully whoever stocks the cafe is listening, but they’re actually chanting for Atomic, who claws a few back. There’s not enough time left for a Rockers rally though, and the Wenches close out a 215-150 win.

HOW THINGS CURRENTLY STAND: The Rockers and Wenches repair to the beer garden of Brighton’s Hobgoblin pub for an old school after party with pot luck panties, limbo dancing, gin roulette and more. We sit in the corner with a calculator working out how things stand ahead of the final divisional Game Day (this Sunday). Essentially the Tier 2 South is now split in half. The top three could all finish in any of those positions (1st, 2nd and 3rd) with the top two progressing to Playoffs against two Tier 2 North sides in LRR’s venue, Newham Leisure Centre, on September 19th. Similarly, the bottom three could all finish 4th, 5th or 6th. Only the team finishing fourth will remain in Tier 2, with the other two sides relegated to Tier 3.

It’s fairly unlikely that Windsor will miss out on Playoffs or that Sirens will stay up, so the real battle is between LRR and Bristol (both currently on nine points) for the second playoff place, and between Brighton and Portsmouth (both on three points) for fourth place survival. If these pairs match results – eg both LRR and Bristol lose on Sunday – then placings are decided on score differential. Bristol are currently 116 differential better off than LRR, with Brighton 29 (not 31 like we maths wrong in Sunday’s fanzine) better off than PRW. What happens if two sides finish up on the same points *and* same differential? We put the question to Champs Tournament Head NSO Pettichoke, who tells us, “it’s then decided by the result when those two teams met.” This gives LRR (who beat Bristol) and Portsmouth (who beat Brighton) the edge in ties. If you understand all of the above, well done. Please can you explain it to us.

GAME DAY SEVEN @ SUNDAY 9TH AUGUST: This weekend’s event, the final Tier 2 South Game Day, is something of a first for Brighton as hosts. The first time (we think) they’ve hosted an open door on a Sunday, and the first time (we’re sure) they’ve hosted a triple header. As you’d expect, fitting in three games means a fairly early start. Doors are at 12.30pm with the first game whistling off at 1.05pm. We advise early arrival since the first game is Brighton v LRR, which is likely to be the day’s closest match-up and will also set up what the teams in the other two games need to achieve to make Playoffs or avoid relegation. Tickets are available online from the link at the bottom of this piece, priced at £12 adults, £10 students, free for under 12s. There’s also a 4-for-the-price-of-3 offer. Tickets will also be available on the door (same price, but no 4-for-3).

The Dolphin is situated seven minutes walk from Haywards Heath train station (turn left and follow the signs) and has parking out front. Somehow National Rail have forgotten to schedule any engineering work – yay! – but bear in mind that trains will be fewer and a little slower on a Sunday. There’s a Sainsbury’s (with ATMs) halfway between the station and leisure centre. The supermarket itself shuts at 4pm due to Sunday trading laws, so let’s hope the Dolphin has remembered to stock up on booze, grub and soft drinks. The after party is taking place at the Witch Inn Sergison Arms Savannah Cafe Bar, which is around fifteen minutes walk from the Dolphin; head back to the train station and hang right at the roundabout just past the station – it’s on the left five mins down the road.

Don’t forget to pick up your free copy of our fanzine Turn Left on the door on Sunday (and mentally rewrite any reference to the differential gap between Brighton and PRW as 29, rather than the 30, 31 or 32 we wrongly state on different pages!). It includes interviews with players from all six teams, tables listing the top performing jammers and blockers on each side, a report on last month’s Eastbourne Extreme tournament which featured the Brighton B-team, and much more. We’ll leave you with the thoughts of participants, neutrals and prediction computers on all three of Sunday’s games…

1.05 PM: BRIGHTON ROCKERS V LONDON ROCKIN’ ROLLERS

WHAT TO EXPECT: Although all three of the day’s games are important ones with plenty at stake, this first game is arguably the most important as it sets up what the teams playing later will need to do. The most interesting result would be a Brighton win, as this would then set Bristol a target that they must lose by less than against Windsor (to beat LRR to a playoff place) and also set Portsmouth a target they’ll need to beat Sirens by to survive relegation at Brighton’s expense. This game looks like it could be a close one, with Flattrackstats giving LRR a 57% chance of victory and a predicted differential of 29:27. That would equate to something like a 203-189 win for the visitors, which is super close in derby terms.

DR WHOOLIGAN, BRIGHTON ROCKERS: “Shambolic is back for this one. Straight from her adventures abroad, Sham has dug out (and hopefully Febrezed) her skates and returned to the track. We also have Rose Bleed back in the pack. Skate Bush is back on jamming; she’s had an amazing Champs, jamming straight away from her first game with the Rockers. LRR are very similar to us on and off the track, and we always have a great game. We have no special tricks planned, just the aim of an empty penalty box and super strong walls to stop those slippery LRR jammers.”

MISS N LINK, LONDON ROCKIN’ ROLLERS: “We’ve lost a few skaters this year due to retirement and injury. Our captain Jack Attack is still off skates and will be leading us from the bench. We’ve played the Rockers a few times over the years. Last time was a couple of years ago, where the score was a close one. We always love meeting these ladies on track, so we’ve been really looking forward to this match-up.”

POISIN CHERRY, ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLERGIRLS: “Brighton has some double threats, such as Gin Atomic and Swann, who can rack up the points as jammers or form a solid wall as blockers. However, Rammit was a strong jammer when we played LRR and their walls were tough, so it will be an interesting game to watch.”

ADMIRAL, PORTSMOUTH ROLLER WENCHES: “LRR v Brighton is too hard to call. The predicted outcome is 57% chance of an LRR win. That’s a slim difference, and Brighton will not want to be relegated any more than we do.”

3.20PM: ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLERGIRLS V BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY

WHAT TO EXPECT: As these teams currently place first and second in the group, this game ought to provide the highest overall quality of derby from today’s matches. If LRR lost the opener, then there’s a good chance that these will be the division’s two entrants to Playoffs (battling two teams from Tier 2 North for promotion to the top flight). If LRR beat Brighton, but by less than 116 points, then Bristol will need to beat Windsor here to nip LRR to that second playoff spot. The only way Windsor could miss out on Playoffs is if Bristol beat them by 190+ points, which is highly unlikely. FTS give Windsor 85% chance of the win, and a predicted differential of 50:31 suggests something like a 300-186 win for RWRG.

POISIN CHERRY, ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLERGIRLS: “We are extremely proud of all of our skaters that have taken part in the British Champs and we wouldn’t be where we are now without every single one of them. Bristol have put in a strong performance in Champs and we know that they are going to be just as strong today. Their walls are tight and their jammers determined, so I’m sure they will keep us on our toes.”

SOMEONE, BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY: “Keep an eye out for Lil Miss Bloodlust who has been having a good tournament. We also have a few new players join our squad, so keep an eye out for Rip Tease, Bear Thrills, Hard n Sharpe and Lex Lethal, who may make their tournament debut. We aren’t worrying about individual Windsor players because they’re strong throughout their squad. They are a very well drilled team with strong jammers, solid walls and stinging offence. But so are we. This will be a good game!”

DR WHOOLIGAN, BRIGHTON ROCKERS: “Royal Windsor have been such a dominant team in Champs. Culverhouse is the jammer to watch – she’s so strong and has very agile footwork – and Riley Cyrus is a tough backward blocker. I think Bristol will definitely give them a run for their money though; they are hot on their heels in the table. The Blizzard knows how to run rings around the opposition.”

FORCE TEN GAIL, SEASIDE SIRENS: “Windsor have been incredibly strong in this group and really know how to take advantage with the scoreline, but Bristol have been getting stronger and stronger all year, so it really could go either way.”

5.30PM: PORTSMOUTH ROLLER WENCHES V SEASIDE SIRENS

WHAT TO EXPECT: The opening game will have set Portsmouth a target for this one. If LRR beat Brighton then the Wenches only need to win against Southend’s Sirens to ensure their survival and Brighton’s relegation. If Brighton beat LRR things get more complicated. Add the number of points Brighton won by to 29 (the advantage the Rockers had over the Wenches in the table prior to today). That’s the minimum number PRW must beat Sirens by to finish above Brighton. Seaside, meanwhile, will only stay up if they beat Portsmouth by 430+ points. That’s probably not gonna happen, especially given that FTS have this as 85% chance of a PRW win. Expected differential of 27:16 equals a scoreline such as 243-144 to the Wenches.

ADMIRAL, PORTSMOUTH ROLLER WENCHES: “We’re obviously hoping for a high scoring win today, to secure both three game points and also a good differential, but we know the final outcome will also depend on Brighton’s result v LRR. Sirens have had a tough season, but will come and play to win. We saw their game against Bristol. Despite it being high scoring for Bristol, the game also saw Sirens put 122 points on the board, which means we shouldn’t underestimate their jammers. Force Ten Gail in particular has been a strong performer for them.”

FORCE TEN GAIL, SEASIDE SIRENS: “We played the Wenches last year and I think we just scraped a win last time we met [150-147] but things have changed a lot for us, so we really don’t know what to expect. We’ll be watching out for Duchess and RIP McMurphy. For the Sirens, Who?Rae! has been on great form since returning to us earlier in the year after a tib-fib break followed by a ‘nine month injury’. She has been jamming quite a bit recently, which is great to see. Our priority is to enjoy the game and play our hardest. That’s all we can do.”

DR WHOOLIGAN, BRIGHTON ROCKERS: “Portsmouth v Sirens should be a great match-up. Portsmouth’s team has been working so hard to get to the level they currently play at. RIP McMurphy is always great to watch. The Sirens have been working hard on playing cleaner (they were down to six players when we played them) so it should be a close game!”

POISIN CHERRY, ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLERGIRLS: “Both Portsmouth and Sirens have a good mix of players, with Nina Nunchucks and Force Ten Gail high on the jammer performance tables. There should be a lot of skill displayed with hard hits and maybe even an apex jump or two.”

LINKS
FACEBOOK EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/1611173889165316/
BUY TICKETS: http://www.brightonrockers.com/#!shop/cttr
BRITISH CHAMPS: http://www.britishchamps.com/
LIVE TWITTER FEED: https://twitter.com/britchampslive

[Photos by John Hesse]

British Champs UKRDA National South Day 6 Preview + Day 5 Report

The Rockers have hosted a lot of exciting derby events, but perhaps none as pivotal as the ones coming up at the Dolphin this Saturday (11th July) and Sunday 9th August. British Championships is a 72-team thirteen division national derby tournament which launched this year. Brighton are in one of the two second divisions (Tier 2 South) and are hosting this division’s final two Game Days. These are the events that will confirm which two of T2 South’s six teams will progress to Playoffs (meeting T2 North sides in the hope of promotion to the top flight) and which two will be relegated to the third tier.
    Although the final day, Game Day 7 which features all six of the divisional sides in a mammoth triple header event, might seem the bigger deal, in fact an awful lot could be decided at this Saturday’s Day 6. For starters the first game sees the two unbeaten sides, London Rockin’ Rollers and Royal Windsor Rollergirls, face off. One of these will lose their unbeaten status whilst the other will all but guarantee their spot in Playoffs. The second game pitches the hosting Rockers against Portsmouth Roller Wenches. If Brighton win this game they guarantee at least safety from relegation (plus a fairly remote chance of making Playoffs) whilst simultaneously relegating Portsmouth and Southend’s Seaside Sirens. Ouch!
    A win for Portsmouth would give them a slightly better chance of final day survival than the Rockers, since the Wenches have an easier final game (v bottom place Sirens) than Brighton, who will face LRR. Sirens and Bristol Roller Derby are sitting out this day, but will no doubt be following events closely – particularly Bristol, who have an eye on pipping LRR to the second Playoff place. The action takes place at the Dolphin in Haywards Heath, with doors at 2pm. Tickets are £10 for adults, £8 students, free for under 12s. These are available online via the link at the bottom of this piece (look for the double header ones, as August’s £12 triple header is also on sale) until 4pm tomorrow Friday 10th. They can also be bought on the door for the same price, but a “4 for the price of 3” deal is only available online.
    Before we hear from players, neutrals and prediction computers about Saturday’s two epic games, we’ll give you a quick summary of the last T2 Game Day, which took place three weeks ago in Havant. Although Brighton sat that day out, the results have set the table up in the exciting way it is going into Saturday. (NB: If you’re wondering why we don’t have a write-up of the Rockers’ May friendly against T2 North’s Hot Wheel RD on this site, we felt Bash’s swansong deserved a wider local audience, so we wrote it up for our friends at Brighton Source instead. You can find a link to it at the bottom of this piece.)

DAY 5 REPORT: HAVANT @ 20TH JUNE 2015

Attendances at this season’s Champs games have fluctuated wildly, and today’s crowd in Hampshire is much smaller than we were expecting. Of course, there’s simply so much derby happening in the UK these Champs-packed days that potential spectators are becoming increasingly thinly-spread. Indeed, the two Game Days Brighton will host both clash with high profile London Rollergirls events. We rather suspect that the Government has something to do with today’s low crowd, though. A quarter of a million people are marching through London to protest against austerity, and given the typical demographic of roller derby folk (particularly in terms of politics and professions) it’s highly likely some are missing from the crowd today due to that.
    First up on track are hosts Portsmouth and LRR. With three players (including Betty Swollox) recently retired, and iconic Jack Attack watching from the sidelines with a strapped-up leg, LRR are going through one of those ‘transitional’ phases that derby leagues have. Saying that, there’s still enough top level talent on track for them to jam in two points for every one the Wenches get in this first period, which ends 117-60 to the visitors. Rammit responsible for a fair chunk of those, with Nina Nunchucks and RIP McMurphy hitting back for the Wenches.
    It’s a very physical game with the likes of Von Bitch and Obnoxious Li putting it about for LRR, and Dropkick Molly and Wheelma Flintstone steely in defence for PRW. McMurphy picks up a broken nose from VB, acquiring a hockey mask and losing her face paint as a result, then plays a big part in a spirited second half Wenches fight back. It’s not enough and LRR take the game 207-144 to maintain their unbeaten record and stay just behind Windsor on points difference in the table.

We find some signs pointing towards a leisure centre bar, and excitedly follow them to find a proper bar with tables and comfy chairs and… its shutters down. There is a cafe attached that’s open, but despite the server’s best efforts on our behalf, his supervisor won’t let him unlock the bar bit to sell us a beer. We’ve often moaned in these reports (perhaps misunderstanding the point of leisure centres in the process) about venues that don’t have bars. Now we’ve discovered something even worse. One that does have a bar, but won’t open it. Aaagh!
    After a brief libation at Wetherspoons (five minutes down the road and home to today’s after party) we return for the Bristol v Sirens game. The former have been responsible for the season’s key surprise result so far – a squeaky (four point) victory over Brighton on Day 3 – and they’ll pull out another surprise today. Not that they weren’t expected to win against Sirens, with the numerically disadvantaged Southend side propping up the division after a series of heavy losses. It’s the scale of Bristol’s win that comes as a surprise. Force Ten Gail and Ella Gnaw eke out what points they can for the Seasiders, but tough Black Thorn and all-over-the-track President Garfield defend hard.
    Meanwhile, Delta Strike, Lil’ Miss Bloodlust and others power Bristol to a 498-122 win. Yowsers! That’s better even (differentially) than league leaders Windsor managed against Sirens, and it’s a shame there are so few BRD fans here to see it. They normally travel in numbers and volume, so their scarcity at what must be their closest away venue (in this division) is striking. Maybe they’re all shouting at Big Ben. The loudest support in the second game comes from the LRR squad cheering on Sirens. A look at the table suggests why. Bristol’s huge margin of victory takes them above LRR and into second place. There’s still everything to play for at Game Days 6 and 7. Speaking of which…

DAY 6 PREVIEW: LRR V ROYAL WINDSOR (2.40PM)

JACK ATTACK, LRR: “We’ve played Windsor a few times over the years and I think they are going to be the most challenging of all the Champs games. We’re totally prepared for it, though, so I think it’s going to be a really good close game. I certainly can’t predict the result as you never know what might happen on the day, but we’ve got a brand new All Stars team with some great new talent as well as veterans.”

CLE-BLAM-O, WINDSOR: “We’re looking forward to playing LRR. They are a lovely team, but we know we need to watch out as they are also a tricky team with some really good players. At Royal Windsor we’re all about the team work. You’re only as strong as your weakest player, but luckily all of RWRG are FIERCE. Bring it on!”

ELLA GNAW, SEASIDE SIRENS: “Windsor’s Riley Cyrus is relentlessly strong backwards blocking and the packs waterfalling made it very tough for our jammers when we played them. They also have a tactic of running the jam clock on to get the points on the board. LRR are just lovely to watch on the track and they look like they enjoy every second. Deadly DeVito’s offence for her jammers is difficult to ignore, and the team’s ability to switch to offence is quick and effective.”

FLATTRACKSTATS.COM: The continued lack of a neutral option on the online predictor means we had to run this through twice, with each side at home, then split the difference. RWRG are ranked 7th in UKRDA on 663.6 points, with LRR in 15th (625.1). Windsor are given an 80% predicted chance of victory with an expected differential of 3:2. This would work out as something like a 270-180 win to the Berkshire side. A prediction based on the European or WFTDA rankings actually favours Windsor even more (90% win chance and 44:27 differential). The above differs from the predictions in Saturday’s fanzine, which are based on marginally older rankings.

DAY 6 PREVIEW: BRIGHTON ROCKERS v PORTSMOUTH (4.45PM)

SWANN, BRIGHTON: “We’ve only played at the same Game Day at PRW once this year, so we’ve not seen too much of them lately. I seem to remember them having some quite aggressive offence the last time we played them, so we’ll be looking out for that. Dropkick Molly is my one to watch. She’s really consistent and clean and that’s all very valuable in a good player. Our ones to watch? Skate Bush and Irish Mist are coming on in leaps and bounds; they impress me more with every game.”

ADMIRAL, PORTSMOUTH: “We know Brighton really well and have seen them grow since their foundation. For obvious reasons we can’t say too much about strategy, beyond saying that we will be expecting the Rockers to deliver tough walls, hard hits and great jamming. Wenches will be bringing their usual mix of character, flair and spirit. We are super excited to have Peggy Peril back with us, and our newer skaters have really been doing great stuff. Tactics wise, the crowd will have to wait and see!”

BLACK THORN, BRISTOL RD: “I think there are more similarities than differences between these two teams. Their jamming styles are physical and their blocking is brutal. Both teams managed to disrupt our slow controlled defence when we played them, and they forced us into a more physical style of play, resulting in higher than average penalty counts. Both teams also came away with not too different results against Windsor. I’m expecting a physical and relatively evenly-matched game.”

FLATTRACKSTATS.COM: Using the online predictor on the second game, with Brighton given home advantage, sees the Rockers (16th in UKRDA on 620.8 points) given 84% chance of victory over Portsmouth (23rd, 588.2). Expected differential of 17:11 would equate to something like a 204-132 home win. The European rankings give a fractionally different prediction of 83% Brighton win on a 47:31 differential. Obviously, all these predictions are based on past performances, and don’t reflect which players may or may not be available on the day. Again these numbers differ slightly (by 1-2%) from the earlier version in Saturday’s fanzine.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY (MANY THANKS TO)
Game Day 5: Graeme Willetts
Final Pic: John Hesse

FACEBOOK EVENT FOR SATURDAY
https://www.facebook.com/events/1449649895353261/

TICKETS FOR SATURDAY (PAGE 2 ‘DOUBLE HEADER’ ONES)
http://www.brightonrockers.com/#!shop/cttr

THE ROAD TO PLAYOFFS
http://www.britishchamps.com/womens-t2-the-road-to-playoffs/

BRITISH CHAMPS WEBSITE
http://www.britishchamps.com/

SATURDAY’S LIVE TWITTER FEED
https://twitter.com/britchampslive

ROCKERS V HOT WHEELS (MAY 23RD) REPORT
http://brightonsource.co.uk/reviews/brighton-rockers-roller-derby-review/

British Champs National South Game Days 3 & 4 Report + Day 5 Preview

The British Championships UKRDA National South division kicks back into action tomorrow, Saturday 20th June, at Havant Leisure Centre. Here’s a brief preview of Game Day Five, along with belated recaps of Days Three (Southend) and Four (Bristol)…

Portsmouth Roller Wenches are hosting the action in Havant. The mighty Brighton Rockers are sitting this one out (as are table toppers Royal Windsor) but Brighton will be hosting the final two divisional Game Days on 11th July and 9th August. They also have a taster session in Hove on Monday for those who want to give derby a try. As for tomorrow, even though the Rockers aren’t playing, pop along to Havant if you can. It’s only an hour away by train and the day’s opening game is a match-up between Brighton’s two remaining opponents. Doors are at 1pm with tickets available online (see link at bottom of this piece) priced just £7 for adults – far less than at any other National South Game Day – and free for Under 14s. Tickets will also be available on the door for an extra quid. Don’t expect much in the way of decent pubs in Havant – a Wetherspoons full of screaming kids is as good as it gets – although Portsmouth itself, or better still Southsea, is pretty good for ale.
    The opening game at 2pm features the Portsmouth Roller Wenches (who Brighton play in July) taking on Brighton’s Final Day opponents London Rockin’ Rollers. The Londoners sit in second place having won both their games to date, with Pompey fifth after two losses. LRR are ranked 14th in UKRDA on 625.3 points, whilst the Wenches sit in 20th on 592.5. Even given the Hampshire side’s home advantage, the predictor at Flattrackstats calls this as 70% chance of a London win, although the expected score differential is pretty close at 56:45. That works out at something like a 224-180 away victory, which is nail-biting in derby terms (although using the European ranking system the predicted gap is wider). LRR have three jammers in the divisional Top Ten charts – Rammit, Beat Girl and Jack Attack – and nullifying these will be key to Portsmouth’s chances.
    The day’s second game at 4.30pm is a match-up of the hosts of the most recent two T2 South Game Days. Bristol Roller Derby currently rank 21st in UKRDA on 589.4 points, with their opponents Southend’s Seaside Sirens not far behind in 25th (575.9). Splitting the difference between home and away predictions – introduce a neutral/tournament button please FTS! – calls this as 61% chance of a Bristol win on an expected differential of 50:42. That works out at a typical derby scoreline in the region of 225-189 to Bristol. This effectively makes both the day’s games too close to call with any degree of confidence, at least using the UKRDA ranking system (the European one favours Bristol more strongly). Sirens will certainly be hoping that’s the case as they have yet to register their first win. An unexpected victory for Southend over third place Bristol would also benefit Brighton a great deal. Speaking of which, let’s rewind the clock to recap last month’s Champs action in Bristol; and first, the games back in March from somewhere just outside Southend…

It’s the first day of spring and there’s a bit of a breeze blowing in across the garishly coloured attractions that dominate the beachfront. “Four pound each for the train,” says the lady at the entrance to Southend Pier. Stuff that, we want to walk. “Three pound 50 then.” Eh? Nobody *ever* tell Southern Rail about this set-up – it will give them ideas. We’re keen to get to the end of said pier as we’re somewhat confused. OK, geography’s not a strong point, but we always thought Southend was on Sea (the clue’s in the name, yeah?). Yet what we can see from the beach is more reminiscent of a river (albeit a very very wide one) with some sort of nuclear power station on the other side. As stupid as we clearly are, we’re not the only ones to have been confused by this view. A friend from these parts is currently in town celebrating her birthday (with her best friend, the derby playing daughter of a celebrity derby fan). Our mate admits she grew up confused by the hoo-hah over people swimming the Channel: “I always thought that power station just there is in France, yeah? I could swim to that no problem.”
    Perhaps it’s such childhood dreams of crossing the Channel in record time that breeds hearty sporting stock like the Seaside Sirens. The local derbyers are swimming against the tide in this first match of Game Day Three, though. Opponents Royal Windsor are the National South division’s highest ranked side, and they know they have to beat the hosts by 160 or more points to retake top spot from the London Rockin’ Rollers. Windsor’s main tactic is a masterpiece of self confidence. Get lead, pass the Sirens pack, then call it right? Nah, not if you’re the Berkshire starhead you don’t. The jammers in white know how tough their own packs are; know that the likes of Trashbag, Laptalis and Riley Cyrus will hold the Southend jammers up for seconds that feel like minutes on every pass; know that if racking up as many points as possible is the aim, they might as well just let these jams run the full two minutes. Whilst the other side might make some passes, you – the Windsor starhead – will be making far more.
    The first jam runs the full 120 seconds. Windsor lead 22-12. This is about as good as it’s going to get for Sirens. Hosts calling an early team timeout now. Just three jams gone. Their Royal guests will dominate this game as they are dominating this division. 73-32 after eight minutes. Blue team battling. Ella Gnaw trading jammer-on-jammer hits with Cle-blam-O. Force Ten Gail probably the best option in the star for Southend, but the Windsor pack is castle strong and PoiSin Cherry is dancing in natural fives against her. Culverhouse starred up now and taking the outside line. Frocky Balboa and Tiny Temper amongst the blockers battling valiantly to hold back the Windsor wave. The hosts have named this event ‘Tsunami’ and the Sirens are getting swept away here by the sheer strength of the Royals. Ella and Tiny holding up Siouxsie Sutures well in the final jam, but when the whistle goes there’s 265 to 93 on the board. Windsor have passed the 160 point victory margin needed to take top spot… oh, and it’s still only half time.

Refs share insights in the loos. (“There’s nothing to call; Laser’s on fire, he’s calling everything.” “The Windsor jammers are getting through without having to throw a hit.” “They aren’t going to let up in the second half, they want that differential.”) We do our usual thing of bemoaning the drink selection at the bar; 17 different sorts of lager but no actual beer, gah! Making the best of a bad situation, we decide to sample as many different lagers as possible in case we find one we like, and thus can recall very little of the second half, other than that it’s more of the same. The likes of Pegasus (who fouls out late on) and Gail work hard to eek out a few winning jams for Sirens, but the starheads in white – particularly Cleo, the standout jammer in the whole damn division – are too strong and the Royals take the win 508-141.
    Whilst the booze selection lacks variety – maybe it’s a local thing; even the Wetherspoons by Southend station had no dark beers – everything else about the hosting seems spot on. The bleachers are comfortable and buzzing (although the departure of much of the home support sees them thin out considerably for the second game) and the lighting is bright and white, rather than the yellowy murk favoured by many leisure centres. Most shocking of all, the first game didn’t start on time – which in itself is a real rarity in the world of UK derby – but five minutes early. Jeebers! The next game has been much hyped as a best of three decider, with Bristol and Brighton having previously met in 2013 (Bristol won) and 2014 (Brighton won). It certainly lives up to the billing.
    The Rockers get the best of the opening jams with single scoring passes to Emma The Condemner and Gin Atomic in the openers, before Swann, Hairy Fairy and Emma pin back Lil Miss Bloodlust for The Mighty Mighty Bash to jam in a hatful. In next to no time the Sussex league are 19-0 up. Bristol getting back into things now, though, with The Blizzard expertly marshalling Swann to kill off a Brighton power jam. Black Thorn sending Kapow to ground with a big hit as Til Thrillster takes advantage of Bristol’s first lead jammer status. Noise Tank is filling in for Mass Janeycide as bench coach and he calls a team timeout (Brighton now just 31-29 ahead) to halt the opposition’s building momentum. Raven Lunatic up against Bash in the star now, Bash off, Swann throwing shoulders at Raven to run down the jammer penalty clock, Bash on then off again, three penalties in a single jam as Noise screams from the sidelines.

Lead change and the Westerners are starting to pull away now. 56-35 to Bristol. Their fans being typically noisy – the only really vocal support for any of today’s four teams. Two very tough packs out on track. The likes of Hairy, Bash and Dr Whooligan blocking well for Brighton; Raven, Thorn and Bazooka Salt likewise for Brizzle. Whooligan starred up now, shrugging off hits with great jamming to close the gap to 79-51. Delta Strike probably the most effective jammer in this game, drawing more penalties from Bash. Noise studying the penalty board during an official timeout. How many marks against 888 now? The Westerners holding a 108-79 lead at half time. Rockers claw it back to 102-112 as Delta serves time in the box, but a misconduct call on Whooligan sees Bristol regaining the initiative. Gin putting in some good jamming performances, but BRD are out muscling her at times. Bristol split the pack and lead by thirty with a quarter of the game left. Noise studying the penalty board again and conversing with Bash. Must be close to seven now.
    Hard-hitting Gin v Bloodlust jam goes 11-10 to the latter. Raft of penalties sees the Bristol blues down to one blocker on track. First foul out, but it’s Raven of BRD not Bash. Nine minutes left. Bristol player down injured. Team time out. 200-179. Ophelia Pain racking up a good haul as Brighton slip further behind. Whooligan star pass to Kapow. Rockers not going down without a fight. 220-200. Four seconds on the clock. Last jam. Gin gets lead. Vile Shadow down injured, half on track. Ref blows for safety. All the zeros on the period clock, but the jam didn’t end naturally, so reset to one second for an extra jam once Vile is happily up and off track. Whooligan lining up against Delta. Bristol jammer picks up a penalty. Swooping, skipping passes from Whooligan. Delta on then off again. It’s Whooligan v the jam clock now. Is there time? Must be close… The Bristol fans, pretty wild even at the quietest of times, go extra wild now, when – after a lengthy delay, with all the double checking of scores possible – the official result flashes up as 227-223.
    Awesome fightback from Brighton, who were around thirty points behind for most of the game, but this trilogy of match-ups goes to Brizzle fo’ shizzle and they slot in behind the Rockers on points differential in the divisional table. We repair to a bowling alley on a small industrial estate. Hardly your typical after party venue, but it’s pretty awesome as players take to the end-of-the-pier penny dropping and stuffed toy grabbing machines, before a mammoth laser bowling tournament. Oh, and the Jägermeister’s just £1.80 a shot, yeah. There is some confusion with food, since the staff insist on taking people’s names rather than where they’re sat when ordering. Everyone politely gives their real first name, and it soon becomes apparent that every roller derby player here is called either Gemma, Jenna, Emma, Jenny, Anna or Emily, all of which sound identical when called out by a wandering barman in a noisy amusement arcade. Tip: Next time use your derby names, if only because of all the wonderful words and phrases the bemused staff will then have to call out…

As with Southend, there is an efficiently on time start to proceedings in Bristol seven weeks later. So much so that as the first whistle goes we are still trying to find our way out of Bristol Parkway train station. As is usual with stations with the phrase ‘parkway’ in their title, pedestrians are barely even an afterthought. The lack of any sort of subway under the track means what should be a five minute hike to the University actually takes three times that. By the time we arrive at the sports hall the hosts have built up a decent lead over Portsmouth Roller Wenches. 65-38 says the board as Valkyrie Pain tussles with Bristol’s ex-Croydon starhead President Garfield. Crowd favourites Delta Strike v RIP McMurphy up next to jam. Things getting very physical in the packs as Nina Nunchucks and Lil Miss Bloodlust trade blows.
    There something disconcerting about today’s track and it takes us a few jams to fully work out what that is. In order to fit in extra seating – unlike BRD’s other venue nearby, they can’t use bleachers here – the track is at roughly a 35 degree angle to the hall itself. Whilst this does mean they can fit in a horseshoe of seating around 80% of the circuit, it also creates an optical illusion depending on where you are stood/sat. From where we are the track looks circular rather than an elongated oval. Luckily those taking part aren’t confused by the angled track the way we are, and the noisy Bristol support cheer on Delta as the hometown heroes pull ahead of the hundred point mark. Wenches star pass to Awesome Wells and there’s 124-67 on the board. Raven Lunatic and E-Z Roller pushing hard against Nunchucks now as Bloodlust spins in a series of scoring passes. Duchess of Crutches running strong passive offence for the Portsmouth jammer.
    It’s a strong end to the first period for both sides with 157-98 showing on the scoreboard. General consensus from the Bristol fans at half-time is that the impressive Bloodlust is growing stronger as a jammer with every outing “but she still looks like she wants to cry all the time”. It’s not often we encounter a sports centre with its own off licence, but any initial excitement at this revelation is tempered by two sobering facts. Firstly, you’re not allowed to drink in the hall itself, but must sit/stand outside like some kind of freak (ie smoker). Secondly, the only booze on offer is sickly sweet ciders and three different types of tequila flavoured lager. This is Bristol ffs, one of the best craft ale towns on the planet (as last night’s sojourn on King Street taught us) and this is the selection the denizens of this campus put up with? Students, it seems, have a lot to learn.

In the interests of journalism we try all three of the tequila lagers and the second half is already underway by the time we make it back to the hall. RIP McMurphy off for a jammer penalty (not the rarest of events) and a star pass to Black Thorn sees the home captain speeding through the pack, with hard hitting from Vile Shadow clearing her a path. Halfway through the period and the hosts are 246-179 up. Official review for Portsmouth gives the chanting home fans an opportunity to remind everyone that “we like shouting”. Wenches battling back well now, clearing the 200 mark with the gap down to around fifty points. Penalty call on Psyclone Destroyer puts the toe-stoppers on the fightback as Delta power jams in a whole bunch. RIP closes out the game with a pass, call and fall. 305-253 final.
    Bristol are up to third, but there’s a humungous score differential separating them from second place LRR. PRW still to record a win, but they are playing less early games (only two over the first four Game Days) than most others. The Rockers are holding a team talk out in front of the offie. Noise Tank bench coaching again – presumably he’ll be taking on this role for away games now, with Janeycide helming the home ones. Not sure what Noise is saying to the troops – we’re distracted by more four-packs of horrible tequila lager – but they must know today’s game is going to be a tough ask. Royal Windsor Roller Girls are firmly ensconced at the top of the National South table, and by the time today’s final whistle blows they’ll have five jammers in the divisional Top Ten for points difference, plus *eight* players in the equivalent table for blockers. That should give you some idea how things are going to go here.
    Indeed, Windsor replicate the tactics from all their previous Champs outings. They’re happy to let the clock run down on most jams as they know their blockers will restrict the opposition to a limited number of scoring passes. First jam sees Gin Atomic pick up a penalty. Although she scores a few on her return, Cle-blam-O has put Windsor 27-11 up after one jam. Plus ça change. In fact Gin will spend the following two jams in the star as well, starting both in the penalty box as RWRG rack in another fifteen. The Mighty Mighty Bash and Dr Whooligan pull a few back for Brighton, but the almost superhuman Cleo puts in a 20 point jam, sending Rockers jammer Hairy Fairy to ground when the latter tries to nudge her off. Noise calls an official review halfway through the half, but the 75-36 scoreline stands so he sits down and has a banana.

Emma The Condemner steers Cleo off well now, but Gin picks up a track cut and is at some risk of fouling out before the interval. Lots of passive offence from Windsor, who seem to have a surprisingly small travelling support given their stature as a league. Maybe living so near to Legoland makes it hard to drag yourself away. What RWRG may lack in fan numbers they make up for in everything else, although Cleo will start the next one in the box after the refs confer. Whooligan taking full advantage of the PJ start with some great jumps inside turns one and three as Cake Or Death runs effective interference. The fast emerging Irish Mist knocks Siouxsie Sutures out well as Swann takes lead. Tough defence from Bash, Cake and others in the Rockers packs, but they’re picking up a lot of blocker penalties now. Round of applause for Laptalis as she takes out Bash. The period clock hits zero as a braced three-wall keeps Gin contained.
    The second half offers much of the same with Windsor swiftly opening up a three figure margin. 183-81 is 233-109 ten minutes later. There’s some great springing down the inside line from Rockers debutant Skate Bush, who hasn’t looked out of place in Brighton’s jammer rotation against this storied opposition. The Rockers are matching Windsor point for point now, but that scoreline gap of 120-odd isn’t going anywhere. Team timeout to Windsor with four minutes left on the clock. Brighton picking up successive leads through Emma and Swann, but they’re 325-189 down now with a minute left. Whooligan v Sutures. The Royals jammer calls it with one second left as bench coach Rollin Stone R shouts for a timeout. Forcing the extra jam. They want more points. Greedy gits. They get them as a penalty call on Bash sees PoiSin Cherry win the final exchange 18-3 for an overall final of 348-196.
    As emphatic as that mighty seem, Brighton have picked up 56.3% of RWRG’s points haul here, which is actually better than anyone else has yet managed against Windsor in Champs – although we suspect LRR will have a damn good assault on that come July 11th. For now, we deport to No 51, a bar in the hipster heartland of Stokes Croft, where we order a multitude of Jägers to take away the taste of all that tequila lager. As things stand, going into tomorrow’s games in Havant, LRR will need to beat hosts Portsmouth by at least 360 points to retake top spot from the commanding Windsor crew. That looks very unlikely on paper, but any sort of London win will set things up nicely for the Windsor v LRR game in Haywards Heath in July – the match that could very well decide the title. From a Rockers perspective, final league placing is probably going to depend as much on Bristol’s results as their own. Portsmouth still have three games to play so absolutely shouldn’t be discounted (and could throw the centre table wide open with a win over LRR), whilst the Sirens will be hungry to try and eek out a win from somewhere before the season comes to a close. All the excitement.

You’ll find ticket links to all three remaining National South Game Days below. Yay!

LINKS

GAME DAY 5 @ HAVANT / 20TH JUNE
FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/839162602831375/
TICKETS: http://www.portsmouthrollerwenches.com/tickets/

BRIGHTON ROCKERS TASTER SESSION / 22ND JUNE
FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/835137986566280/

GAME DAY 6 @ HAYWARDS HEATH / 11TH JULY
FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/1449649895353261/
TICKETS (PAGE 2): http://www.brightonrockers.com/#!shop/cttr

GAME DAY 7 @ HAYWARDS HEATH / 9TH AUGUST
FB EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/1611173889165316/
TICKETS (PAGE 1): http://www.brightonrockers.com/#!shop/cttr

PHOTOGRAPHS BY (WITH THANKS)
Royal Windsor v Seaside Sirens: Nick Smith
Bristol RD v Brighton Rockers: Warren Miller
Bristol v Portsmouth: Jason Ruffell http://www.roller-derby-on-film.co.uk/
Brighton v Windsor: Jason Ruffell http://www.roller-derby-on-film.co.uk/

British Champs UKRDA National South Day Four preview

This Saturday (May 9th) sees the action resume in the Tier 2 UKRDA National South division of British Champs. The more astute amongst you might have noticed that we haven’t actually posted our report on the previous game day in Southend yet. Er, we’re saving it up to post as a double report alongside our write-up of this weekend’s awesomes in Bristol, yeah? (We will put it up soon, promise.) Suffice to say Royal Windsor continued their inexorable haulage of points to cement their place at the top of the division, whilst Brighton went down to regular tournament nemesis Bristol by the tiniest of margins.
    Saturday’s action takes place on the University of the West of England campus close to Bristol’s Parkway station in the far North of the City. Doors open at 1.30pm, with the hosts taking on Portsmouth Roller Wenches at 2.30 followed by Brighton v Royal Windsor Roller Girls. Tickets are available online until midnight today (Friday) priced £8 adults and £4 kids. They should be available on the door too. It’s probably too late to offer public transport tips now. Suffice to say Bristol is in a Westerly direction and if you bought train tickets early enough you could do it for about £12 each way. There are at least three ways to get there by train from Sussex; into London and out from Paddington, via the Gatwick-Reading corridor, or along the coast changing somewhere in Hampshire.
    Portsmouth have only played one Champs game so far, but place above bottom due to the Seaside Sirens’ heavy points against column. Bristol are just above in fourth place after their win over the Rockers. The Wenches could actually leapfrog the Westerners if they win by 28 or more points. Royal Windsor have taken full points so far and sit on top of the table with just shy of a +500 points differential, so this will be a tough game for the third place Rockers. Unfortunately we can’t give you the usual prediction percentages for these games from Flattrackstats as their online predictor isn’t working right now. Gah! So let’s hear from some of the teams instead…

BLACK THORN – BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY CAPTAIN

Hi. You currently lie mid-table in the National South with one win and one loss. Has your Champs campaign gone the way you were expecting?
We felt strong against LRR and knew we had a good chance against Brighton. We made it hard on ourselves and our supporters in the crowd by reducing a 20 point lead to four points in the last jam, but are delighted to have a win on the board. We came into this group ranked the lowest of the six teams after a poor run of results through 2014, so one of our aims was to prove we were stronger than our ranking suggested and that we deserved to be in this tier. We think we have achieved this.

You’re taking on Portsmouth Roller Wenches, who are currently without a win. Have you met them before? What do you know of them?
You know that poor run of results in 2014 I was just talking about? The Portsmouth game came smack in the middle of this, and remains a low point in my personal derby career. We were in a massive transitional period. We had some great new players, but hadn’t quite worked out their roles in the team, and I gave what is perhaps the worst half time speech in history. Needless to say, Portsmouth won! The actual game is a bit of a blur, but we are aware that they have some big names and great players that we have come across on the mixed scrim/bootcamp circuit, and we are looking forward to pitting our strongest selves against them.

Any particular Bristol players or tactics people should keep an eye out for? Would you care to predict the result?
I’d like to give some love to our bench team of Shi No Kamo and Haley Flammable. If you’re interested in tactics in roller derby, then keep an eye on them and how they control the run of the game with their decision making and responsiveness. The importance of an astute and consistent bench team is very underrated in roller derby, but our ability to turn a game around (or more recently to not completely squander a lead!) is in a large part down to this pairing. And no, I wouldn’t care to predict the result!

The day’s other game sees Brighton take on table toppers Royal Windsor. How do you expect that one to go?
This will be a fascinating match up and we’re all looking forward to relaxing and enjoying our birthday whilst watching. Windsor dominated over Seaside in Southend in the most convincing of fashions, and we are very familiar with Brighton’s strengths. It’s hard to ignore a performance like Windsor’s versus Seaside, but for our prospects in the future of this tier we’re hoping for a Brighton win!

You’re hosting Saturday’s event, which we understand is also your fifth birthday bash. What can you tell us about the venue? Anything special planned for the day?
The venue is the University of the West of England’s Centre for Sport. It’s a return to an old venue for us, having played most of our open games recently across the dual carriageway at the Wise campus. UWE lacks a few of the benefits of Wise (for example no tiered seating), but we have some creative chair layout plans to make up for this, and the venue has the benefits of a larger car park and a hall big enough to fit the merch stalls (which are relegated to the foyer at Wise). The hall itself is unlicensed, but an attached shop sells booze – you’ll just have to drink it on the grass outside. As for special plans, if you thought we were loud with thirty people in London, then wait to see the level of noise we can generate on our home turf.

What can we expect from the after party? Is Stokes Croft really as full of hipsters as people think?
Absolutely. Feared by franchises and chain stores and adored by hipsters, Stokes Croft is Bristol values in a nutshell. Just down the road from the after party you can put your head around the door at the Art for Africa Auction (https://www.facebook.com/events/1556780017924664/) and witness some of Bristol’s graffiti writers and artists in action. Banksy will be there. Probably.

NO REPLY RECEIVED – PORTSMOUTH ROLLER WENCHES

SWANN, GIN ATOMIC & DERBY McGEE – BRIGHTON ROCKERS

The Rockers currently sit in mid table in National South with a win and a (very narrow) loss? Has your Champs campaign gone the way you expected so far?
We’ve had a lot of player movement this season, with some usual suspects taking breaks and some new faces popping up, so it’s been a bit of an experimental year so far. As such we’ve not really had any expectations re our performance in the tournament. One highlight was definitely the last few minutes of the Bristol game – two final jams, a handful of power line ups and a mega close score!

You’re taking on the divisional leaders Royal Windsor on Saturday? Any particular RWRG players or tactics you’ll be looking out for?
We played Windsor when we first started as a closed door game. We were very green and it was a fantastic game. A lot has changed since then. Windsor are an experienced, well trained and cohesive team. They played in the States recently and that shows them to be an ambitious and successful league. We have been studying their players and have our eyes on a few, but really it is their teamwork that people will notice.

Any particular Brighton players people should keep an eye out for on Saturday?
We’ve got a few newer faces on the roster this time, so I’d definitely say it’s worth looking out for them. They’ve all worked really hard and have been doing a lot of training outside of regular practice, so I’m sure they’ll impress!

The day’s other game sees hosts Bristol take on Portsmouth Roller Wenches. How do you expect that one to go?
I think that’ll be a great game to watch. Both teams have some really solid blockers and really agile jammers. Whatever happens both teams are real fighters, so will be giving everything they’ve got right up until the last whistle.

Finally, what are your hopes for the rest of the 2015 Champs campaign?
Obviously we want to score all the points and do all the winning. Isn’t that what all teams want?! We’re also looking at working with our new team dynamic over the next few games and really cementing our teamwork.

ROLLIN STONE R – ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLER GIRLS COACH

Windsor currently top the divisional table, having scored a whopping 760 points in two games. Things going the way you expected?
We didn’t expect that! But we’re really pleased with how it’s gone so far.

What do you know of Saturday’s opponents, the Brighton Rockers?
Brighton played our B-team once. We know that they’re awesome. We will be watching out for Bash!

Any particular Windsor players or tactics people should keep an eye out for?
Our main tactic is teamwork so we hope that all of our players will be a threat. Our goal is to take the victory, but we know that Brighton could end our winning run.

Any thoughts on the Bristol v Portsmouth game?
Both are really strong teams and it’s anyone’s game. Blizzard is deadly and RIP McMurphy is a double threat.

Finally, what are your hopes for the rest of your Champs campaign?
We hope to keep winning but we’ve got tough games to come. We never count our chickens!

[Photos by John Hesse]

British Champs National South Day Three Preview: Sirens v Windsor & Rockers v Bristol

Another game day so soon? Yep, they come thick and fast in British Champs. Day Three of the National South division takes place this Saturday (21st March) near Southend-on-Sea. Doors are at 1pm with first whistle at 1.30. Tickets are £10 in advance (£8 students) from the link at the bottom of this preview or £12 on the door. This is a pretty small capacity venue – roughly half that of the recent sold out East London game day – so we very much recommend buying online as soon as possible. There may well be no tickets left on the door.
    The venue is Clements Hall Leisure Centre in Hawskwell, Essex. This is about ten minutes walk from Hockley train station, which is four stops before Southend Victoria on the line from Liverpool Street (not to be confused with the train line from Fenchurch Street that goes to Southend via a different route). Although the journey from London to Hockley is only 45-50 minutes, getting to London from Sussex will be a bit of a mission on Saturday, as those delightful words “replacement bus to Three Bridges” have been dusted off for the whole weekend.
    We recommend allowing a good two hours to get to Liverpool Street, including a bit of faffing around on the tube. If this sounds like a bit of a mission, you might be interested to know that the Rockers have a few spaces for fans on their team bus. These will cost in the region of £12 return, leaving Brighton around 11am and returning in the evening after a bit of after partying. Get in touch with the Rockers via Facebook/email asap if you’re interested.
    We normally recommend a few pubs, but this is actually the Rockers’ first UK away trip to somewhere we haven’t previously done drinking in. Given that Hockley is a fair way inland from Southend itself, allow extra time if you want to hit the seafront, attractions and/or town centre bars before the games. The after party venue is a bowling alley very close to Hockley station, and there are a fair few pubs close to the leisure centre, most of which receive moderate to good write-ups online. The White Hart on Southend Road is the closest, and there is of course a bar at the venue.

RANKINGS AND PREDICTIONS
Now for our ever exciting rundown on how the games might play out using the predictometer at Flattrackstats. A relentless tirade of numbers mostly beloved of game day announcers who have run out of anything else to say! Firstly, hosts Seaside Sirens (ranked 22nd in UKRDA on 584.8 points) are up against Royal Windsor (10th, 645.5). FTS calls this one as 84% chance of an away win, with a predicted 51:31 differential in Windsor’s favour equating to something like a 255-155 RWRG win.
    Using the Euro rankings rather than UKRDA works out even more heavily in Windsor’s favour, with the Berkshire side ranked 19th on 671.2 points given a 92% chance of beating their Essex hosts (55th, 593.8). Predicted differential here of 35:18 works out as a typical derby scoreline in the region of 315-162.
    Moving on to the Brighton Rockers v Bristol game, as ever with a neutral host venue we have to split the difference between the home and away predictions. (Memo to FTS: please introduce a neutral option!) Brighton are 11th in UKRDA on 640.0 points, whilst the division’s lowest ranked side Bristol sit in 26th on 578.0. The Rockers have roughly 90% chance of the win, with a differential of 29:16 mathsing out to something like 232-128 on the board.
    Switching to the Euro rankings, things are a fair bit closer. Brighton place 27th (641.0 points) and Bristol are 41st (610.9). The predictometer, when tweaked for neutral, calls it at 75% chance of a Rockers victory with a differential in the region of 62:46 suggesting a Sussex victory in the order of 186-138. That’s super close in derby terms, and given the margin of error of these computerised predictions, pretty much anything could happen on the day.
    In terms of the divisional table, LRR sit on the top with two wins and a +281 points difference. They’re sitting out this game day, so the other unbeaten teams (Windsor and Brighton) know what is required of them in their second games of the season. Windsor need to beat Sirens by 160+ to leapfrog LRR on points, whilst Brighton need to best Brizzle by a whopping 204 or more to do likewise. For Bristol and Seaside, both sides will be looking for their first win, which (given Portsmouth’s absence today) would put clear space between themselves and the bottom slot.
    That’s enough number crunching. Now let’s hear from members of three of the day’s teams about what we can expect on Saturday. (Unfortunately, we haven’t received any reply to the interview questions or follow-up messages we sent to Royal Windsor, so you’ll just have to imagine that side’s thoughts going into the weekend’s action.)

SEASIDE SIREN ROLLER GIRLS v ROYAL WINDSOR ROLLERGIRLS

ELLA GNAW – SEASIDE SIRENS

After a quite a heavy defeat to LRR on Game Day 1, you put in a strong performance against Brighton on Day 2, despite penalty foul outs reducing you to six players. Anything from that Brighton game that you’ll be building on for the rest of your British Champs campaign?
One thing we have been working on – which won’t be a surprise! – is penalties! We’ve had the chance to see what worked and what didn’t and get ready to put it into play for Saturday.

Due to a few fixtures having been swapped over, SSRG are in the unusual position of playing in three Game Days (1-3) in a row! Are there any advantages or disadvantages to playing so many Champs games in succession?
I think it gives us an opportunity to review what works and what doesn’t work for us and to put it into play quickly. There’s no chance to take our foot off the gas and become complacent because we’re always in game mode, which is fun. In an ideal world most derby teams would give anything to play every week, like most sports teams, so to play once a month has been a great opportunity.

Your opponents this Saturday are Royal Windsor. We believe you’ve played them once before, more than three years ago (RWRG winning that 134-77). How are you expecting this meeting to go?
We played them for an exhibition bout for Sky News three years ago and our squad was very varied in that game. It was a 40 minute game and a cherry popper for myself. Royal Windsor Rollergirls are a great team to watch and their drive to grow and continuously develop their game is a great inspiration. We’re really looking forward to playing them on the track and anticipate a great game. Locking down their jammers, who push hard to find the smallest gaps will be our main aim.

The day’s other game sees Brighton take on Bristol. What should people look out for in that one?
Watching Bristol play LRR at the last game was a great opportunity to see how they play as a team. We played Bristol two years ago and they appear to have grown in strength and their walls are solid. Brighton have agile fast jammers who do not give up looking for the gap to take.

Finally, Sirens are hosting the action on the 21st. What can you tell us about the Clements Hall venue, the after party and the Southend area in general?
This is very exciting for us as it’s at our new venue, Clements Hall! We have previously bouted on a very slippery wooden sports hall floor and this will be our first game on a sticky traditional UK sports court. Though this is also our Sunday scrimmage venue so we’re used to it. It has a great roll but hard wheels are advised. Our Force Ten Gail recommends 93s. We have tiered seating, so will be giving our fans a different view of the track for the first time ever, but it only holds 170 people so get your tickets fast!
    We will have merchandise on sale for the teams and also Resolute Framing, an independent business offering high quality, bespoke framing and framed prints, limited edition artworks, photographs, collectables and more. We have a cake stall selling all kinds of treats and the proceeds will be going towards our local branch of Cats Protection League, a charity which is close to many of our hearts. And finally, we have a fully licensed bar, which will be situated in the hall, so you won’t need to miss a second while getting your refreshments!
    We are also having our after party at a different venue, nearer to our sports hall, at CJs Bowling Alley. Anyone who came along to the recent Roller Derby Sevens tournament will have enjoyed the after party there, and there’s plenty of parking for the visiting teams’ coaches and cars. We have bowling alleys booked, and there’s food and drink on offer. And finally, Southend itself. We are home to the world’s longest pleasure pier and Adventure Island. Come and ride the roller coasters, eat some candy floss and skim some stones while eating hot donuts!

BRIGHTON ROCKERS V BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY

SWANN & CAKE OR DEATH – BRIGHTON ROCKERS

Hi there. So you’re 20% of the way through your British Champs National South campaign now. Was it good to get that opening win under your belts last month against the Seaside Sirens?
I think it would have been easy for us to go in with high expectations based on the result last time the Rockers and the Sirens met, but we definitely appreciated that both teams have changed a lot since then, and no result is ever a given. We were also going in without a couple of key players who would normally be on our A-team roster, so we couldn’t be sure how much of a difference that would make. We definitely had a half-time turn around. We’d figured out what was working for us, they lost a couple of players to penalties, and we just focused on being a strong unit and really tiring out those remaining players, which allowed us to pull ahead at the end. It’s a great feeling to have a win under our belt at the first stage, and hopefully we can carry that success through the rest of the competition.

Your opponents on Saturday are Bristol Roller Derby. In a way this is a “best of three” decider, with one win to Bristol (251-175 in London in 2013) and one win to Brighton (277–209 at Haywards Heath last September) in previous meetings – we make it 460-452 to Bristol on points at present. Presumably you know their roster fairly well now?
Bristol are really strong and a big experienced league. We have played them a few times and most recently at home. They have recently chosen their team for the season and we know they have a strong squad to choose from. They have plenty of very experienced players like Black Thorn, E-Z Roller and The Blizzard, who we shall have our eyes on

Moving onto the Brighton squad, can we expect one or two of the Rockers who were missing against Sirens to return to action against Bristol? Care to predict the result?
We never predict the result but do predict a party bus all the way home whatever the outcome. British Champs is giving us a great chance to vary our roster. Although Saturday’s side will be similar to the team that played the Sirens, we like to mix it up a bit.

The day’s other games sees Royal Windsor take on the Seaside Sirens. Any thoughts about how that one will go?
That game will be brilliant. Sirens were really tough to play in our first Champs game, but Windsor are such an experienced team. I think this game will be less about individual players, and more about which side has the best teamwork.

Finally, with games against Windsor, Portsmouth and LRR coming up in the next few months, what are your views on the National South division as a whole?
The South division is very strong, with lots of diverse teams who work well together. We’re very proud to be part of it. Windsor we haven’t played for years, but we’ve heard they have become very strong so they will definitely be a formidable foe in Bristol on May 9th. And of course the great and glorious London Rockin’ Rollers gave us The Mighty Mighty Bash, so they are clearly awesome – but seriously, they scare me a bit…

RAVEN LUNATIC – BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY

Bristol made their British Champs debut last month against divisional leaders LRR. Did that game go the way you expected?
We were really pleased with our opening game to Champs. Being seeded the lowest in the group and facing leaders LRR we anticipated a really hard fight and we weren’t disappointed. LRR’s blockers were very strong with some bruising offensive moves and their jammers were nippy and agile. It’s what we expected and what we’d prepared for. I think we probably took LRR a little by surprise with the strength of our walls and the power and determination of the Bristol jammers. A huge positive for us is that, despite losing the game, we kept the points differential a lot closer than anticipated, leaving us nestled comfortably mid-table.

You’re facing the Brighton Rockers on Saturday in Southend. In your two previous meetings with the Rockers, it’s one win apiece, so in a way this is a “best of three decider”. Which Bristol players or tactics do you think are going to play a key role in this game?
Yes, we are really looking forward to ‘The Decider’ against the Rockers. Our last fixture in 2014 was fantastic and we really hope to replicate the energy and athleticism of that day. We watched part of the Rockers’ game against Seaside last month so we’re pretty familiar with their style of play. We have a few tactics up our sleeve but you’ll have to wait until game day to find out what those are!

Having met the Brighton on track twice in the last two years, you presumably know their squad fairly well. Who are you looking out for? Care to predict the result?
I think the team has changed a bit since we last met, but the Rockers have a strong and dynamic squad who I’m sure will be working hard to make life difficult for us on Saturday. Dr Whooligan had a good game against Seaside Sirens, as did Hairy Fairy and Swann, but we will be looking at the team as a whole, not concerning ourselves about individual performances. I predict that this game is certainly going to be one to watch. After all, this isn’t just about positions on the British Champs table. This is the accumulation of three years of history between Brighton and Bristol. This is ‘The Decider’!

The day’s other game sees Royal Windsor take on the Seaside Sirens. Any thoughts about how that one will go?
Seaside Sirens have some incredibly strong players and their first half against the Rockers last month was really impressive. It was a shame that they lost so many players through penalties in the second half. Royal Windsor are favourites for this match, but if Seaside can keep their players on the track, who knows…

Finally, the game day after this one (Day Four on May 9th) you’re hosting in Bristol. Are plans in hand for that event? And what are BRD’s hopes and ambitions for the remainder of the 2015 British Champs season?
Plans are well underway for when Bristol host the tournament on May 9th. The event coincides with Bristol Roller Derby’s Fifth Birthday, so we will be celebrating in style and hope lots of skaters and supporters can stay and enjoy the after party with us. There will be cake and fizzy stuff, and no Bristol Roller Derby after party is complete without some German Leg Wrestling.
    Our ambition for the British Champs season is probably the same as everyone else’s – to finish as high as possible up the table! Being seeded lowest in the group doesn’t stop us from aiming high. We have a very strong team who all want to play great derby against other great teams. But we’re a competitive bunch, so ultimately our aim is to win!

[Photos by John Hesse]

THINGS YOU CAN CLICK ON:
FACEBOOK PAGE FOR SATURDAY’S CHAMPS EVENT
BUY TICKETS FOR SATURDAY’S CHAMPS EVENT
READ OUR REPORT ON T2 SOUTH GAME DAY TWO
BRITISH CHAMPS WEBSITE
BRITISH CHAMPS FACEBOOK

British Champs UKRDA National South Day Two REPORT: Rockers v Sirens, LRR v Bristol

There is a chance (albeit slim) that the Brighton Rockers could win this, their first British Championships game, 300-0. Considering that their much stronger than predicted opponents, Southend’s feisty Seaside Sirens, took a 98-68 lead into half time, this might seem mathematically impossible, but that’s not necessarily the case. Are the Rockers themselves aware of this potential outcome? We can’t help but notice several Brighton players, led by captain Swann, spending a few minutes in the half time break studying the penalty tracker boards. Is it their own accumulated trips to the naughty seats they’re looking at? Or Southend’s?
    If it’s the latter this would echo our own scrawled summary of the first period: “Sirens not playing clean enough for a team that has only rostered ten players.” That’s not to say the Essex side are playing a particularly penalty heavy game, just that these offences become much more of an issue when playing short. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, everyone on the roster plays an equal number of jams and picks up an equal number of penalties. For a team that has a squad of ten rather than fourteen players, average trips to the penalty box for each player go up by 40%. That means the chances of fouling out (for seven penalties) are 40% higher too.
    As it happens the Brighton Rockers are skating short today also, although their roster of twelve only equates to 16.66% above average penalty acquisition. The other important thing to note about a roster of ten, of course, is that this is only enough for two alternating line-ups. The first foul out means skaters will have to start regularly playing consecutive jams. This in turn increases the chances of them picking up more penalties, not just due to the extra track time but also increased tiredness. The net effect – as we’ve often seen when teams skate short – is ‘foul out dominoes’ as each consecutive departure increases the chance of another. So when, halfway through the second period, the Sirens’ imposing captain (and most effective blocker) Frocky Balboa takes the “walk of shame” into the crowd, we’re not expecting this to be Southend’s only foul out of the day…

Sure enough, a few jams later, Tiny Temper joins her in the bleachers – well, actually, in the queue for the bar, but you know what we mean. A couple of jams further down the line and two more Sirens, Force Ten Gail and Bazooka Salt, foul out within seconds of each other. Like we said: dominoes. The six remaining Southend players will now be accumulating (even ignoring extra tiredness, etc) penalties at more than 2.3 times the rate of a squad of fourteen player. It will only take one more foul out from the Sirens to trigger WFTDA rule 8.2.7: “The Head Ref may declare a forfeit if a team has five or less players still eligible to participate in the game.”
    And what’s the British Champs tournament policy on a team forfeiting? As we understand it, the game is awarded to the opponents by a scoreline of 300-0, or if said opponent is already leading by more than 300, by that differential to nil. So, yes, it *is* technically possible that Brighton could win this game 300-0, even though the Southend league now have around 170 on the scoreboard. Or is it? As it happens, there’s only enough time left for one more jam, and the Sirens will finish with a squad of six, but would the possible forfeit have actually been enforced anyway? We check in with one of the referees the next day. He thinks the Head Ref would only really have imposed that (discretionary) WFTDA rulebook forfeit “if it became a safety issue, such as the remaining skaters being so tired they were causing a hazard to themselves or the other team.”
    We also check with Champs head office re the 300-0 rule. They confirm this is the case where a team elects to forfeit but they “will check” if it applies to an enforced forfeit. “It may not be something they’ve actually considered,” another referee suggests. One thing’s for certain: The Sirens are the latest in a long line of teams (including Brighton themselves on a few occasions) who should be grateful that UK derby is governed under the ruleset of WFTDA rather than its rival organisation, USARS. The rulebook of the latter states that a Head Ref MUST enforce a forfeit when a team is reduced to EIGHT players. Jeebers!

After a somewhat smaller than expected crowd for the first UKRDA National South division game day (four weeks ago in Windsor), it’s reassuring to see that Newham Leisure Centre is packed to the gunnels for today’s action. Indeed, the crowd is a sold out capacity 300 and – despite LRR’s best efforts to publicise this fact via social media – many ticketless people will be turned away at the door. Technical problems are a common feature of roller derby events, but today’s are mostly related to the announcer’s radio mic giving up for large swathes of the opening game. It also takes us a while to spot the scoreboard, projected as it is at a jaunty angle above the bar, which is itself horrifyingly closed! Said bar’s eventual opening, during Brighton’s first team time out, raises one of the biggest cheers of the day, despite the initial 15-minute long booze queues.
    Out on track, some super tough defending from the cyan Sirens blockers sees the Southenders build up an early lead. A power jam nine for Force Ten Gail, followed by two five point passes for Pegasus as Dr Whooligan wrestles with the Essex walls, puts the Sirens 19-0 up early doors. Brighton sneak a couple of points on the board through ever sneaking (through packs) Kapow, but Southend are giving away very little here. Whooligan struggling to get past the forceful Gail, as Pegasus sits in the box, before she eventually makes it through for three passes. Big jam for Brighton there. 26-20 to the cyans as the bar opens and Mass Janeycide orders that black ‘T’.
    A recent addition to the Rockers jammer roster, Emma the Condemner is up against Ella Gnaw next, with both starheads spending much of the jam being dragged back around the track. Swann taking advantage of a short delay in proceedings to point out the number on her back and ‘C’ on her arm to the announcers, who have been under the impression that Kapow was captaining Brighton today. The Rockers cap taking heavy hits from her Southend counterpart now, on what is a very slippy track. The granite tough Frocky Balboa is proving a tough obstacle for all the Sussex starheads here, with the likes of Hairy Fairy and Emma having to run regular offence against her to help them through.

Tiny Temper, Gail and Hell de Jour are amongst the standout blockers in these sturdy Sirens packs, with jammers Ella, Gail, Temper and Pegasus edging up the lead for the Essex league. Possibly more photographers here than we’ve ever seen at a domestic derby game, or maybe LRR’s hi-vis media tabards just makes them stand out more? Still, there’s a good eight or nine here, supping on their teas in the half time break. What is the collective noun for a group of photographers anyway? An “exposure of…”? A “composition of…”? Back in the bleachers, the atmosphere is fairly flat for this opening game, with the exception of a small cluster of Sirens fans and a similarly sized cluster of Rockers fans (largely Brighton rookies) in the bleachers.
    One of the Sussex fans gets told off for being too loud by someone sat nearby. She’s not being loud, she’s being Canadian – admittedly this is largely the same thing. Ironically, the complainant will be far louder himself during his team Bristol’s game. Other noisy support for Brighton coming from the Rockers merch table, which includes one Gin Atomic among its staff. She can’t play today for red tape reasons, but should be joining the Sussex roster for the rest of their Champs campaign. The Rockers get off to a flyer at the start of the second period, with Chariot Sophia jamming in 27 points versus 12 from Gail to cut the deficit in half. 95-110 now. Swann, Whooligan and Emma all follow this with scoring jams of their own to trigger the game’s first lead change. It’s 125-122 in Brighton’s favour now as a knock to Swann sees a short pause in the action.
    The Rockers are bagging lead jammer status far more often in this half, having only managed a handful in the first period. Hairy, Swann, Emma, Whooligan and Sophia amongst those putting in good defensive stints for the Sussex side, but a jamming penalty call on the last of these sees Southend regain the initiative to go 131-125 ahead. Kapow then Whooligan as the lead switches back to Brighton. 141-135, 150-149 now. Rockers time out and the Sussex squad are building up a head of steam. Slippery starhead Sophia looks to have taken lead, but she’s off for an elbow instead. Gail against Swann, the former taking the points. Lead change again! The crowd would probably be getting more excited by all this epicness if the announcer’s mic was working. Sirens now 156-150 ahead and there’s an official time out. Refs and NSOs confer. Look at the penalty board. Frocky Balboa leaves the box… and the game.

It’s difficult to ascertain exactly what impact their captain’s departure has on the Southend league’s play. What we do know for sure is that the ever impressive Dr Whooligan (BRATS 2014 Player of the Year) racks up a whopping 27 points for Brighton in the next jam, as the game’s fifth and final lead change sees the Rockers go 177-160 ahead. Sirens still not giving up. Feisty jamming from Gail, followed by a penalty box switcheroo with Emma. Swann side-surfing her way both into and out of trouble. The Essex side aren’t just playing roller derby now, though. They’re also playing FOD (foul out dominoes) and the resulting procession of departures is accompanied by a widening points gap, with the final whistle sounding on a 253-175 Sussex victory.
    The numerically disadvantaged Southend side certainly shouldn’t be downhearted by such a result though. They fared around thirty points better than the pre-game predictions suggested. Both these sides are at transitional points in their history, with the Sirens having lost a number of players – some to the newly bouting Killa Hurtz of Chelmsford – over the past year or so. Similarly, the Rockers line-up in today’s programme differs greatly from the players Brighton actually have available at present, with at least three of these currently on a break from derby. Said programme also suggests that Bexorcist was line-up manager for both these teams, and that a penalty box visit still lasts one minute, which certainly explains a few puzzled looks at wristwatches from derby virgins in the crowd today.
    Still, these are very small niggles for what is a typically well organised LRR game day, which even features awards (Crowd Favourite) voted for by the fans in attendance. Swann picks this up for Brighton, with the Sirens gong going to Hell de Jour. The Rockers select Force Ten Gail as Southend’s best jammer, with Tiny Temper best blocker and Ella Gnaw as MVP. The Essex side dole out their awards to Brighton’s Kapow (jammer), Hairy Fairy (blocker) and Chariot Sophia (MVP). We barely have chance to get our breath back before hosts London Rockin’ Rollers and opponents Bristol Roller Derby take to track for the day’s second game…

We weren’t expecting their fans to be quite so loud. Sure, LRR have something of a reputation for rowdy supporters, and their fans do form the majority of those in the hall today. The thing is, we’re not talking about the LRR fans here, but Bristol’s. A cluster of a thirty or more who are waving signs, shouting encouragement and puncturing the air with rousing chants of “BRD” for much of this second game. The announcers are trying to rally the local support, telling them they can’t remember LRR being out-sung like this at home before, but as loud as the London fans get, the very vocal Bristol contingent “take it up to eleven” (to paraphrase Spinal Tap). As away fans in any sport go, they’re pretty damn awesome.
    This support is even more impressive given that BRD are in the lead for approximately two minutes of the entire game. This is from the point Delta Strike (up against Jack Attack in the opening jam) takes a single pass and call, until roughly halfway through jam three, which sees a typically blistering-paced charge from Beat Girl, whose 19 point haul gives the Londoners a 22-10 lead. “BRD, BRD, BRD…!” Jacks, Beat and captain Rammit form the core of the LRR Allstars’ small but highly experienced jammer rotation, and the Bristol side are finding them difficult to contain. Long-time Harbour Harlots captain Black Thorn is at the heart of a tough BRD defence – sending Beat to ground on the inside of the track, then seconds later on the outside – but the LRR starheads are an ever resilient bunch.
    Raven Lunatic, Ophelia Pain, Lil Miss Bloodlust, Delta and Til Thrillster forming the major part of the Harlots rotation here. Or the Bristol Roller Derby A-team rotation, that is to say, with the Harbour Harlots name seemingly soon retired, along with the accompanying kit, which is being worn for the last time today. Thrillster pulls it back to 53-64 for BRD as the South Westerners call a team time out. There’s solid blocking here from the likes of The Blizzard, E-Z Roller, Gremilyn, Vile Shadow and others for Bristol. The home team have plenty of super tough blockers of their own on show, though, such as Rebel Rebel, Flash Bang Wallop, Betty Swollox and the ever terrifying Von Bitch.

Delta puts in a single pass to take BRD within five points of the Allstars. 80-75 to the latter in points scored. 11-8 to the former in lead jammer statuses gained. LRR jammers chasing Bristol’s down too quickly for them to gain much advantage from those extra leads though. Home pack holding Ophelia back really well as the rampant Rammit spins in three passes without reply. A penalty call at the whistle sees the visiting jammer start the next one in the box, with Jack Attack putting 17 points on the board as the Londoners build some breathing space. It’s 111-77 (which must equate to something brutal in the roller derby drinking game) at half time.
    Two jammer penalties in the first jam of the second period against Delta, and the Somerset (or Gloucestershire or Avon or Wessex or Unitary Authority, depending on what year your map was made) side are starting to slip further behind now. Beat Girl takes fifteen without reply to put LRR up 151-86. Both teams rostering a full fourteen here, so even if the penalties pick up – as they are starting to now, with both teams beginning the next jam with two blockers seated – the risk of foul out dominoes is pretty low here. Rammit dancing through on the outside line, jamming in twenty without reply, as Von Bitch repeatedly introduces Bloodlust to her shoulder.
    Bristol fans chanting Delta’s name, then E-Z’s. Jacks spectacularly taken out mid apex jump by one of the BRD blockers, but the home side are picking up LJ status with more consistency now. Rebel Rebel struggles with some extra tough defending from the Bristolians, passing the star to Obnoxious Li now as the clock ticks down. The London pivot passes through the pack with star in hand rather than on head, and BRD take the jam 8-0. The crowd has thinned out considerably now, as often happens at double headers – some people have homes to go to, apparently. 18-15 to LRR in lead jammer statuses (statii?) currently as Demolition Darcy and Swollox chip in with great defence for Jacks to crank it up to 224-150. Home side one shy of 50% more points than their opponents with only enough time for one more jam now. Can Bristol keep it below that 50%? Beat v Ophelia. Ophelia takes lead. Passes the star to Black Thorn to cheers from the Brizzle crowd. Black Thorn on a scoring pass. Then another. Beat Girl is scoring too though. The final whistle sounds.

LRR have taken the win 235-164. We make that 43% more points than Bristol. Certainly less than the 50% we’re sure no-one but us was hunched over a calculator watching out for at the end. It’s considerably less than the predicted margin of victory, which suggested around a 2:1 differential in favour of the Londoners, so BRD have much to be proud of from their opening game in British Champs. Til Thrillster takes the Crowd Favourite award for them, with Beat Girl picking up the one for LRR’s Allstars. The Bristol side pick out Jack Attack as the home team’s best jammer, with Betty Swollox as best blocker and Rebel Rebel MVP. LRR give their awards to Bristol’s Thrillster (jammer), Black Thorn (blocker) and Blizzard (MVP).
    In a controversial move, we BRATS swerve today’s official after party. Largely because it’s a roller disco. Even three months of lessons from the head coach of Team GB’s national figure [roller] skating squad have left us unable to skate a single stride (“talk to your doctor about flat feet” was his parting shot) so donning wheels now, after ten cans of beer, would be a huge recipe for disaster. Instead we jump on a bus and hold our own unofficial after party in LRR’s usual venue, a former local of ours, the King Eddy in Stratford. There is much Jägermeister drunk and indecipherable notes are stared at, whilst grumpy pet owners refuse to let us attempt a “human pyramid of dogs”.
    So where next for the Tier 2 UKRDA National South Division then? Geographically speaking, this show moves 32 miles down the A13 to a leisure centre near Southend. Royal Windsor take on the hosting Sirens on March 21st, knowing that a big win (by 160+ points) will see Windsor leapfrog LRR to top the table, whilst the Essex side will be hoping for a first Champs win of their own. The day’s other game sees the mighty Brighton Rockers (who currently place third, not far behind RWRG on points difference) taking on today’s impressive Bristol team in what we feel will be one of the best match-ups of the tournament. We’ll have a full preview of said National South Day Three online in a couple of weeks, and we hope to see as many Rockers fans as possible there on the day – if only to tell that bloke from Bristol to keep his voice down!

[Photos by John Hesse]

THINGS YOU CAN CLICK ON:
FB PAGE FOR DAY THREE @ SOUTHEND MAR 21ST
TICKETS FOR DAY THREE @ SOUTHEND MAR 21ST
BRITISH CHAMPIONSHIPS WEBSITE
BRITISH CHAMPIONSHIPS FB PAGE

British Champs UKRDA National South Day Two Preview: LRR v Bristol & Rockers v Sirens

February 2015 is dominated by three important Saturdays in a row for the mighty Brighton Rockers roller derby league. On the Saturday before last (7th) they staged their first home double header in two years, with half a dozen Brighton players making their public debuts as part of a mixed opener, before the A-team All-Stars took on a Team Dragon side bolstered by a number of international derby stars. You can find our full report on those events in a clickable link at the bottom of this preview.
    The following Saturday was more symbolic than participatory, with 14th February 2015 marking the official Fifth Birthday of the Brighton league, who were founded on Valentine’s Day 2010 in the Lion & Lobster pub. It’s perhaps in keeping with the notion of half a decade’s derby history that this Saturday coming (21st) sees the Rockers take on the Seaside Sirens. Brighton’s first ever public bout/game was away to this Southend league back in 2011, and the result that day remains the Rockers’ biggest margin of victory to date.
    Saturday’s game is all the more symbolic for marking Brighton’s first appearance in British Championships. This tournament makes its debut in 2015, having grown out of the largely regional Heartland Series tournies. A whopping 72 women’s leagues are taking part, divided into thirteen divisions in four tiers. (There’s also a three division men’s tournament.) The Rockers are competing in the chunkily named ‘Tier 2 UKRDA National South’. This is one of two divisions that form the second tier, its members all hoping for promotion to the very top Premier Division above.
    You’ll find links at the end of this piece to a brief preview of all seven Nat South game days (from the online version of our fanzine) as well as a full report on Game Day One. This took place on the 24th January. Brighton and Bristol sat the day out, with hosts Royal Windsor beating Portsmouth (those two sides are sitting out this Saturday) before the London Rockin’ Rollers took a big win over the Seaside Sirens. LRR are hosting this Saturday’s event, which is taking place at Newham Leisure Centre in East London.
    Doors are at 2pm, with Brighton v Sirens at 2.30pm and LRR v Bristol around 4.30pm. The games are followed by a roller disco after party (free entry and skate hire to Champs attendees) that goes on to a very nocturnal 2am. Tickets are £12 in advance or £15 on the door, with cheaper tickets for children and family groups – see the links below to buy online. Travel wise, the District line is closed east of Aldgate. Thameslink trains have resumed stopping at London Bridge at weekends though, so people travelling up from Brighton by public transport are advised to change there for the Jubilee Line to Canning Town, from whence a 300 bus will ‘whisk’ you to the venue.
    The leisure centre is sandwiched between schools, parkland, a hospital and the A13. Although there are a couple of shops and a caff, the nearest pubs are a good mile away along the Barking Road, off New Barn Street or back in Canning Town. These tend to be a little rough ‘n’ ready, and the pubs we’d especially recommend lie even further afield (eg in Stratford or East Ham) thus too far from the venue to really be practical. Therefore we suggest making full use of the bar in the sports hall itself instead. Hell yeah! OK, time to fire up the statsometer…

RANKINGS AND PREDICTIONS
The London Rockin’ Rollers kicked off their Champs campaign with a big win over the Sirens last month. LRR currently place 12th in UKRDA on 634.3 ranking points. Saturday’s opponents Bristol Roller Derby haven’t played an open door A-team game since winning at Liverpool in November. The Harbour Harlots lie in 25th place (the lowest ranked side in the division, for what it’s worth) with 571.2 points. These two sides haven’t met on track before, and the predictometer at flattrackstats gives the home side a whopping 94% chance of taking the win here. The expected differential of 44:21 in the Londoners’ favour would equate to a typical derby scoreline in the region of 264-126.
    Whilst using UKRDA rankings for a UKRDA sanctioned tournament seems logical, we’ve run these match-ups through the prediction machine using the European rankings too. Here LRR rank 21st on 663.5 points, whilst Bristol are 44th on 605.0. (Brighton, meanwhile, place 27th – below several teams they rank higher than in UKRDA – on 649.1, with the Seaside Sirens 53rd on 592.9.) The Euro prediction for this game is a tiny bit kinder to the Bristol side, giving the Rockin’ Rollers Allstars a 93% victory chance on a 2:1 differential, eg a 250-125 LRR win. Bristol will be looking to prove the prediction computer wrong on all counts here.
    Moving on to the day’s opening game, the Sirens dropped a few places after last month’s Champs defeat. They currently sit 23rd in UKRDA with 643.6 points. Brighton’s only game so far this year was the recent home defeat to Team Dragon. The Dragons included one Tiny Temper in their ranks, and she’ll be facing the Rockers again just two weeks later in the colours of Southend. Will meeting Brighton with the Dragons have helped her recce the Sussex jammers for the Sirens? Or will the Rockers take advantage of gaining insight into one of SSRG’s top blockers? Hmmm…
    Either way, Brighton currently place 10th in UKRDA on 643.3 points. Splitting the difference between home and away predictions (as there’s no neutral option) gives them 90% chance of the win, with a 51:27 differential equating to something like a 255-135 Brighton win. A prediction based on European rankings is slightly less emphatic, giving Brighton 87% chance and a 56:33 (eg 224-132) differential. Given the current transitional nature of the Rockers squad, a result that differs from these predictions wouldn’t come as a huge surprise. Still, that’s enough of the confusing statistics. Now let’s hear from players from all four of the teams taking part on Saturday…

2.30PM: BRIGHTON ROCKERS V SEASIDE SIREN ROLLER GIRLS

DR WHOOLIGAN & DERBY McGEE – BRIGHTON ROCKERS

Are the Rockers looking forward to the challenge of taking part in the first ever British Championships? What are you hoping for from the season?
We’re looking forward to it a lot. We know that every paper or magazine we’ve spoken to about derby always asks where we are in the league, so it will be nice to finally have an answer! It’s also a great excuse to get to know the other Southern teams better on and off the track. We’re obviously hoping for straight wins across the board, but failing that, we hope that every game is hard fought and helps us improve the skills and plays we are working towards perfecting.

Your only previously experience of tournament play was at the UKRDA Southern tournament at Alexandra Palace in 2013. Obviously these are very different tournaments – that one was over a weekend, this one’s over a year – but is there anything you learned from Ally Pally that you’ll carry over to Champs?
Work on your fitness! I (Whooligan) personally only played one day of that Southern tournament and that was enough. We are all working hard to up our endurance for the Champs season.

You kick off your Champs campaign against the Seaside Sirens in Newham on Saturday. Last time you played the Southend side you won by 265 points. What are your expectations this time around?
The previous Sirens match was a great early game for us. We played with a squad of nine and won. However, that was a long time ago and a lot has changed for both teams. Champs is a really exciting tournament which we’re proud to be in. As we’ve just entered the WFTDA Apprentice Program, we’re planning ahead for the whole year – so we won’t be focusing on this game as an individual match, but as the start of how we develop as a team over 2015.

This month’s game against Team Dragon featured a much changed Brighton side. Care to predict the result of the Sirens game or that of the following LRR v Bristol match?
Playing the Dragons was a great way to start 2015 and turning five years old was a big achievement we’re really proud of. The Sirens are an awesome league and we love those ladies. It’s gonna be a cracking game. They’ve got a lot of really talented, experienced players, and plenty of big personalities. We’re also looking forward to the LRR v Bristol game afterwards. We’ve played both recently and will be rooting for some great derby, as well as obviously scoping out two upcoming opponents!

ELLA GNAW – SEASIDE SIREN ROLLER GIRLS

Your first British Champs game saw defeat to LRR. Are there any particular things you feel you learnt from that game that will be useful for the rest of the tournament? What are your hopes and aims for the Champs season?
Taking on LRR again so soon after playing and beating them by a mere three points was always going to be fun and a challenge! But as Sirens we went in knowing that we would fight for every point that we put on the scoreboard. It was a very fun game to play. The LRR team are brilliant opponents and it will be great to see them taking to the track against Bristol on Saturday. The Sirens have grown from strength to strength throughout the last two years and fought hard last year to climb the rankings thanks to the hard coaching from our team members. So for us, entering the Champs was just the next step and a new goal to strive towards. It’s exciting taking part in a tournament and watching all the competing teams grow and adjust as it progresses.

You’re up against the Brighton Rockers on Saturday. We believe you’ve only played them once before and that was almost four years ago. Presumably a lot has changed since then?
When we played the Rockers in Southend all them years ago it was our second open door bout and, if I remember correctly, their first ever open door. What a game, it was an eye opener for the team! The play was fast, so fast, and this rematch will be very interesting. Generally speaking, the game of roller derby has slowed down since then and become about taking off speed in order to control the jammer. There has been that complete shift in gameplay, and also both leagues’ rosters have changed too. We will do what we always do; keep our heads up, keep calm and fight for every point we put on the board!

Finally, the day’s other game sees hosts LRR take on Bristol Roller Derby. Any players people should keep an eye out for in that game?
Well, for Game Day One we gave our awards to LRR’s Deadly Devito (best blocker), Jessica Rammit (best jammer) and Jack Attack (MVP). They were all brilliant on the day!

4.30PM: LONDON ROCKIN’ ROLLERS v BRISTOL ROLLER DERBY

JESSICA RAMMIT & BEAT GIRL – LRR ALLSTARS

This weekend sees the London Rockin’ Rollers hosting a British Champs double header. What encouraged you as a league to take part in this tournament?
We were approached by the organisers last year and were very interested in an event that would unify UK roller derby. Usually we have to organise several bouts throughout the year to play against UK teams and this event gave us the huge opportunity to play against several similarly ranked UK teams and gain further tournament experience in the process. As it’s also UKRDA recognised that’s another bonus. The London Rockin’ Rollers Allstars are aiming high and want to move up more in the rankings in 2015. This will help pave the way for our bigger plans in 2016.

You got off to a flyer against the Seaside Sirens on Jan 24th and now sit strongly on top of the table with +210 points differential. What do you attribute that big win too? Do you think your experience of tournaments in general (more than most other UK sides) was a factor? Who stood out for the Sirens?
Our last tournament was at SKOD in May 2014 and we have played a lot more games since then. We are attributing this win to training really hard. It was a re-match since we last played the Sirens in September 2014. SSRG won that one 150-147, so we were determined to come out on top this time. The Rockers need to look out for captain Frocky Balboa, who is a solid player at the centre of every Sirens wall, and Tiny Temper for her speedy drag backs.

Your Game Day Two opponents are Bristol Roller Derby. Are we right in thinking you’ve never played them before? What do you know about the Bristol side? Any particular players or tactics people should look out for?
The London Rockin’ Rollers B-team, the Badasses, recently faced the Bristol Bees in a closed door bout, but you’re right, our A-teams have never played each other before. From what we know about Bristol we are expecting it to be a close match. We might have the odd trick up our sleeve, but we don’t want to spoil any surprises before the day.

Finally, for the benefit of those travelling up to the event, can you tell us a bit about your venue? What can we expect from the roller disco after party? And is it true that LRR have the rowdiest home fans in UK derby?
The audience at Newham Leisure Centre can choose between sitting on the raised bleachers for a great view of the track or get close to the action on the floor in the suicide seating area. Bring cash if you plan to buy tickets on the door, shop the merch stalls or buy food and drink at the venue as there are no card facilities available. The bar at the venue sells tinned beer, cider, soft drinks and snacks. There are a couple of newsagents nearby in case the audience manage to drink the bar dry! For the after party we have partnered with Skating Haven who hold regular roller discos at the leisure centre. Skate hire is included in the Championships ticket price, so we hope lots of the audience will be staying to party with us. Yes, our fans never fail to cheer the loudest! An after party rarely passes without a gravity defying human pyramid from the LRR fans.

RAVEN LUNATIC – BRISTOL HARBOUR HARLOTS

What aspects of British Champs encouraged Bristol to take part in the tournament? What are your hopes, expectations and aims for this 2015 Champs season?
The great city of Bristol had to be represented in Britain’s first nationwide roller derby tournament and we actually have two teams in the competition; our women’s A-team and our men’s team, Vice Quad. The Championships have given us a real focus as a league and we are all really excited to be taking part. In 2014, our A-team went through some fairly big changes, with some old favourites retiring or producing the next generation of derby talent. Our new A-team has been together a few months now and we’ve a great balance of experienced players, alongside some newer (but really strong and developing) skaters. Competing in Tier 2 South of the Championships is a huge privilege. We’ll be up against some of the best teams in the South, so we are expecting it to be tough, but it will be an amazing experience and will really help develop us as team.

Your first Champs game is away to the current divisional leaders LRR. Do you know much about the London side? Any particular players or tactics the crowd should look out for?
LRR is a huge game for us to open with, but we are fully prepared and ready for the challenge. We’ve never met on the track before but our B-team have played their Bs a couple of times, so we have an idea of their style of play. We’re obviously aware that the Allstars have some outstanding players who we will be keeping a close eye on. But Bristol can also boast a couple of skaters who attended the World Cup in Dallas in December so keep an eye out for The Blizzard (Team Finland) and Da Silva Surfer (Team Portugal). Other crowd pleasers are team captain, Black Thorn, and the understated but immensely fierce EZ Roller.

Finally, the day’s other game sees the Brighton Rockers take on the Seaside Sirens. How do you see that one going?
We played the Sirens a few years ago but we’re guessing that the team looks very different now, so we don’t have much insight into their game. We’ve obviously had the enormous pleasure of lining up against the Rockers on a couple of occasions and so are more familiar with the strength and tenacity of the Brighton athletes. Although we understand their current squad is much changed too, so anything could happen!

[Brighton v Bristol photos by John Hesse. LRR v Sirens photos by Mindy Cherry Photography.]

THINGS YOU CAN CLICK ON:
FACEBOOK PAGE FOR SATURDAY’S CHAMPS EVENT
BUY TICKETS FOR SATURDAY’S CHAMPS EVENT
READ OUR REPORT ON T2 SOUTH GAME DAY ONE
READ OUR REPORT ON BRIGHTON V TEAM DRAGON
CHECK OUT OUR FULL CHAMPS PREVIEW (PAGES 16-18)
BRITISH CHAMPIONSHIPS WEBSITE
SKATING HAVEN ROLLER DISCO
MINDY CHERRY PHOTOGRAPHY