Top Ten Reasons why YOU CAN’T MISS this Saturday’s ROCKERS v HOT WHEEL GAME!


1. Tickets are STILL AVAILABLE and they are SUPER CHEAP!
A double header for a single header price? Hell yeah! This Saturday (23rd May) you can catch the Brighton Rockers A-team against Leeds side Hot Wheel Roller Derby PLUS the public launch of the new Rockers B-team against a mixed opposition, all for £8 per adult ticket (£7 for students, free for under-12s). Not just that, but you can get four for the price of three. Snap them up now at the Rockers website, Brighton Fringe website or Fringe box office. Ticket sales end at 4pm on Friday. Though we expect there to be some available on the door, you won’t be able to use the 4-for-3 deal there. The venue as ever is the Dolphin leisure centre, five minutes walk from Haywards Heath train station. Doors are at 2pm, first game is at 2.50 and second game at 5.00. The leisure centre cafe sells booze and the Burrell Arms opposite the station is OK and has a huge beer garden. There’s also a big Sainsbury’s halfway between the station and venue.

2. It’s your LAST chance to watch Bash make opponents CRY!
She’s undeniably the Brighton Rockers’ most famous player. A huge driving force, Bash was the only founder member to have played the sport before, and she has been the key A-team coach pretty much throughout. She’s also the only Brighton Rocker to have played for Team England in a Roller Derby World Cup [although she skated for London Rockin’ Rollers at the time]. If you ever mention the Brighton Rockers to a derby player from anywhere in the UK, the first word they will say in reply is almost always “Bash”, usually accompanied by shuddering and the occasional whimper. Bash is quitting derby and returning to her native New Zealand after Saturday’s game, so this is your last chance to see exactly why the Rockers legend inspires fear and awe in so much of the British roller derby world; as she sends opponents flying into floors, walls and each other with terrifying glee.

3. It’s your BEST chance to see Bash herself CRY!
Like some wheeled Kiwi Terminator, Bash is a machine, but as a hundred Hollywood movies have shown us, even machines can feel emotion. Particularly when they’re getting the fantastic send-off they deserve from teammates, opponents and fans on the occasion of their last ever game. We suspect it’s gonna get a bit, y’know, emotional.


4. It’s NORTH v SOUTH in a break from CHAMPS action!
Both teams have seen 2015 dominated by their participation in British Championships, the 72 team (thirteen division) national tournament that is taking place all year. The top six teams in the country are taking part in the Tier 1 National Division, below which are two Tier 2 divisions, South and North. Brighton currently place fourth in the South division with one win and two losses in their games so far. Where are Hot Wheel in the North division? Fourth also, with the same one win and two losses record. Holy smokes Batman, this may not be an official Champs game but it’s gonna be a darn good test of the respective strengths of the Dirty North and the Sexy South. Especially given that both teams admit to knowing “absolutely nothing” about the other.

5. The STATS NERDS reckon it’s going to be SUPER CLOSE!
The Rockers currently place 14th in the UKRDA ranking table with 625.7 points, while Hot Wheel are 11th on 651.4. The online prediction machine at Flattrackstats gives the visitors 64% chance of the win and predicts a differential of 51:44 in their favour. This would equate to a typical scoreline in the region of a 176-204 away win, which is close enough to be “too close to call” in this sport. This match-up has been a long time coming (indeed there were attempts to put it on last year) and is sure to be well worth the wait!

6. Racey is BACK ON TRACK and itching for a FIGHT!
As the Rockers bid farewell to one of their Antipodean stars, another returns to the track. It’s welcome back to the A-team for former captain and director Racey. She said she intended to return to skating then training then the All-Stars roster as soon as possible after babying, and we make it about twelve weeks in total. Normally when people talk about a “competitive mum” they mean in relation to their offspring’s achievements. We suspect the phrase has a different meaning where Racey’s concerned. You can find out by watching her dispense the awesomes on Saturday!

7. There’s a whole NEW GENERATION of Rockers to MEET!
You will have seen a few new Rockers in the mixed opener if you attended the Team Dragon game in February. This time round there’s going to be even more on display as we get to meet some fairly new to bouting members of last year’s Fresh Meat intakes. Skate Bush was part of the A-team squad (and jamming roster) against Windsor in British Champs earlier this month, alongside other up-and-coming skaters such as Obliviator and Irish Mist. With Bash departing and others taking time out there are gaps to fill in future All-Stars squads. Here’s your chance to check out some of those vying for these places, whether they’re playing for the A-team or for… see next paragraph.


8. There’s a BRAND NEW Rockers team to CHECK OUT!
Oh yes indeed. The last time a Rockers B-team (the Bruisers) played an open door game in Sussex was 805 days ago – more than two years. The league hasn’t had any sort of B-team for much of the intervening period, and this Saturday sees the first public appearance of a brand new B-team. The Rockerbillies will feature a few A-teamers, such as Chaka Carnage (who many have described as “a Bash in the making”) and jamming star Kapow, who is returning to action after “getting injured by some books” (ie a studying break). There will also be a raft of new and newer skaters to catch up with. Their mixed opponents have been drawn from teams across the South East plus, er, the Canary Islands. Be sure to give the Rockerbillies a rousing reception; Brighton have been without a B-team for far too long…

9. You can pick up a FREE COPY of issue ten of OUR MAG!
Yep, somehow our tawdry fanzine has made it to double figures. Hurrah! Inside this issue several Rockers stars share their own Top Tens with us; we have an exclusive interview with Bash about her Rockers career; there’s all the info you need from Hot Wheel; predictions from someone who recently played against both sides; several B-team interviews and much more. Find out which Rocker said “they use wee to keep their clothes shiny” and who exactly they are talking about, which B-teamer elicits a “phwoar” from Cake or Death, and who has “a wonderful drunk eye”. All this and more in the new Turn Left – the only place to pick up your free copy is on the door at Saturday’s event.

10. There’s NOTHING MORE EXCITING you could do on Saturday!
Er, unless you’re planning to skydive from a burning orbital space station, free falling as you karate kick your way through six flocks of pterodactyls armed with head-mounted lasers, before landing in an erupting volcano, successfully rescuing a family of talking squirrels from a swarm of vampire Bonos, then disabling an Armageddon advice using only your nose (with just one second to spare). Even then, we think the derby probably edges it.

[Photos by Jason Ruffell of]



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